tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316678369477762282024-02-21T03:54:44.336+01:00Keep Up With KortUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-18291442045357044332013-12-06T23:31:00.001+01:002013-12-06T23:31:20.138+01:00snow's only good for snow days.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">this morning, we took pictures after the fresh snow had been laid</span></i></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>for lunch, we decided on feta stuffed lamb burgers</i></span></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">oh, happy day</span></i></b></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-57467667615231921302013-12-02T08:39:00.002+01:002013-12-02T08:43:49.471+01:00what the fog?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
First - how is fog formed? I now know the answer thanks to Discovery Kids.<br />
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Ethan, myself, and Amber couldn't resist a mini-adventure downtown so we hopped in the car and then snapped some photos in the fog. Results below.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-26547656931139180242013-11-29T06:58:00.000+01:002013-11-29T07:11:25.211+01:00new traditions.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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We spent our day preparing ham, mashed potatoes, and stuffing. For dessert, apple cider (with butterscotch schnapps), apple pie crumble, and vanilla ice cream. Ethan put on National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - which was my first time and then I showed him The Last Holiday - his first time.</div>
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Having your own Thanksgiving ensures two things: 1) that you can skip that icky green bean casserole and shifty pasta salad and only make the things that you enjoy eating and 2) you don't have to answer <span style="text-align: justify;">questions like - "</span><span style="text-align: justify;">When are you getting married? </span><span style="text-align: justify;">Did you put on some weight? </span><span style="text-align: justify;">Why don't you visit more? </span><span style="text-align: justify;">When are you going back to school?" Some you don't know the answer to and other questions they don't want the answer to.</span></div>
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My first Thanksgiving with Ethan was a blast - every single day I fall more in love with him. </div>
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I guess one Thanksgiving doesn't make it a tradition, but we're going to say it anyway.<br />
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Happy Thanksgiving, from us to you. ;)</div>
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Oh, and...I accidentally took this picture, but I had to post it because...good GRACIOUS he's attractive.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-75036654729164263522013-11-14T16:26:00.000+01:002013-11-14T16:42:34.615+01:00you ARE a sinner.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Recently, I've been going through hell with people in my life. Not my friends..no, they're great. With people who think that "because I know you I understand you and I'm therefore entitled to give you my opinion on everything."<br />
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I've been on this since my DTS. If I tell you something - that doesn't make us close. It doesn't make us friends. My story is a story of redemption everyday - my story isn't a secret - but my story, especially the past, doesn't define who I am at this very moment. It adds to who I am, but it isn't completely who I am.</div>
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So if you know about my mother's murder and that I grew up in a dysfunctional home that doesn't mean that you understand me or that you're my friend. It means that you know a fact about my life.</div>
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I am a sinner.</div>
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I use profanity sometimes, I've disrespected my parents, I've had sex. I'm a sinner any way you swing it...but so are you! I gave my life to Jesus six years ago, and Jesus whom I love has forgiven me and <b>redeemed </b>me, but He is still working on me and perfecting His work in me...but until that day of completion comes, I am still going to screw up. But, so are you.</div>
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Yesterday someone was preaching at me when they said, "The Bible would have you to do this..." and began to preach to me things they've never even been close to dealing with to which I responded, "I know what the Bible says, I could repeat everything you just said back to me, but do you obey the Bible 100% everyday?" </div>
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AND HERE IS THE PROBLEM, YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS, PATHETIC CHURCH:</div>
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"I mean..I try to. I try t-"</div>
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"Do you obey it 100% everyday, yes or no?"</div>
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"I try to walk by the Spi-"</div>
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"Yes or no?"</div>
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"Probably not."</div>
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Excuse me? <i>Probably not? </i></div>
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Oh...are you not a sinner anymore?</div>
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Thiiiiiiis, even as a Christian, drives me up the effing wall. Oh you're good to go now? This is not the truth which is what drives me insane. If I wasn't a Christian, the <u style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">LAST </u> thing that would win me over would be a lifestyle of perfection. Perfection creates fear in us, why? It tells you that honesty isn't allowed. Go ahead, have your struggle, but keep it a secret because if you do tell someone you're going to be judged.</div>
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When I hear people talk about sin in their lives, I hear it one way, "Oh yeah, I used to struggle with that."</div>
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Wait...what?! Why didn't we know <i style="font-weight: bold;">when </i>you were struggling? Why is it always after? Perfection keeps us isolated. And because there's perfection and people who honestly think that they aren't sinners anymore there's a lack of discipleship. </div>
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If you sin, if you step your toe outside the line, if you let someone know that things <u style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">aren't perfect</u>, well..."we love you, but" we're not going to have anything to do with you now and we sure as hell aren't going to help you, mentor you, or be there when you stumble again. You're on your own.</div>
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That's the message you want to send? The answer is no. But the actions always say yes.</div>
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Last year in London, I met a couple - not Christians, they had called the church we were doing ministry with and asked for help. They were unmarried, they had no electricity, they had no food, the boyfriend had just lost his job, and they were 8 months pregnant. I was so blessed by them in the weeks we were able to be involved with them and watch how Christ changed their lives in the two months we were there (and now, too!). But what broke my heart was that we were the 10th church they had called because the 9 before said they only helped their members.</div>
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That makes me sick to my stomach.</div>
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That's disgusting.</div>
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but that's what we preach...we only help those who look like us. </div>
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We're uncomfortable with differences.</div>
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Whether racial (that's a whole other blog), whether economical, sinful, physical or mental...we're uncomfortable when God doesn't look how we want Him to.</div>
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I refuse to be apart of that.<br />
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As I look into the word of God, I see a lot of sin. And then I see it overcome with forgiveness and redemption. There is only one story of perfection, that's Jesus himself. </div>
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I'm so thankful for who God is. I'm so thankful for his mercy and grace each and every day, for His blood that washes over me - He is the only one who can forgive my sins and give me freedom in my repentance. The only one. So I'll rest in that. I'll hope in the true God who is refining me and redeeming me and saying to me when I fail, "Next time." God is not done with me, He isn't fed up with me, but if He's not working things out in a timely manner seen fit by others then I suggest shunning me and my sinfulness.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 17px;"><b>The more we look to Christ, the more we look like Christ. (2 Cor. 3:16-18)</b></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-28680605929065324102013-05-30T20:15:00.001+02:002013-11-11T18:02:40.690+01:00Sexy Missions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I read an article about missions being sexy. I decided to share some of my revelation on just how sexy it is.<br />
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Here's what you don't know about missions.</div>
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You don't know that once you've committed to being a missionary that almost immediately every believer in your life is going to question that call or convince you to stay in school so that you can have a 'Plan B' in case following Jesus falls through. </div>
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You don't know that it is much easier said than done when it truly comes down to pleasing Christ over man. </div>
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You don't know that once you've climbed the mountain full of obstacles and difficulty that everyone will still leave you. </div>
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You don't know that being a missionary means you're always leaving or saying goodbye. </div>
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You don't know that even when you return changed and radicalized by taking the Gospel to unreached people and nations and seeing them come to Christ that you'll come home and find it radically unchanged.<br />
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You don't know that reverse culture shock is the Devil's best instrument to breaking you down, making you feel like you don't fit in, pulling you into sin, depression, and all sorts of evils. </div>
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You don't know that you are a visionary and some people will write you off, even those that you love.</div>
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You don't know that you're going to see people called and see them deny that call because they're scared to hurt their families, or unsure about what "going all in" looks like, because they don't trust that God is who He says He is.</div>
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You don't know that you're going to change lives because of Jesus but that He's going to change your heart in ridiculous ways. Your pride, your lack of servant hood, your gossiping, your unwillingness to be submissive...oh, that's going to get wrecked and it's going to be painful. You're going to do a lot of apologizing during that time. Don't worry, humility gets easier but at first it's quite humiliating...these words are related for a reason.</div>
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You don't know that you're going to wake up, look around you, and see the faithfulness of God in your life after you've been truly following Him. And then you're going to kick yourself for not recognizing it sooner and then you're going to praise God for putting up with you.</div>
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You don't know that obeying Christ's call is the easiest step in missions. Deciding you're going to be a missionary is as easy as it gets. You're going to serve somewhere for an extended time (as an intern, on a DTS, through Mission Year, on the World Race) and your heart will never be the same. You're going to hear God clearer, you're going to recognize spiritual warfare, you're going to be attacked on every front...the call is just the beginning. You will sacrifice and you will suffer.</div>
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You don't know that, if you're called to be a missionary, you are giving the life God gave you back to Him. </div>
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if you're called to go, what you don't know is that, all of the fear dissipates in the light and fulfillment of finding Christ. Your desire for comfort will become a desire to remain uncomfortable until all have heard the Good News. You will fall in love with multitudes because Love himself is leading you. You will be tired and dirty and yet you will have relentless Joy. You will realize that taking the Gospel to the nations is urgent. And you will read this, heart ablaze to do His work, and say, "Here am I, send me!"</div>
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Pretty sexy, huh?</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-174520924354296112013-05-29T02:58:00.000+02:002013-11-11T18:03:28.786+01:00An Audience of One<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I, Kortnee Barnes, will not promise BUT will try to be a more consistent blogger! I really want to talk about India and all that the Lord is revealing to me but first I'm going to let you into some struggle and growth I've been going through. So, in the last <a href="http://keepupwithkortnee.blogspot.com/2013/02/a-fortified-city-iron-pillar-bronze-wall.html">post</a> I told you that God had answered some HUGE prayers, and He did...I, however, did not use His answers to their full capability and have since been struggling with my role, my relationships, my reality, my faith that God is still near to me..and that was a struggle that has left my heart in a very fragile place with Jesus. Thankfully, I am still with Jesus and no longer wandering about trying to fix myself.<br />
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<i><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">What the Lord is teaching me, Part 1</span></b></i></div>
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I am capable of all that He has asked me to do. That faith is not only believing He <u style="font-weight: bold;">will</u> but also that only because of Him, <u style="font-weight: bold;">I can.</u></div>
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God requires all of who I am.</div>
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And He can have it.</div>
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I am so tired of even attempting what others want me to be because it's such a filthy, cheap version of what I'm supposed to be in Christ. Any time we try to become other than what God has said we are, we're jilting ourselves, and we're telling God "I'll do this my way because the way you made me isn't good enough."<br />
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Thank you, Father...for being sufficient.</div>
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The definition of sufficient is <u style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">enough.</u> That means we don't need anything or anyone else to tell us what we are supposed to be in Christ, we only need Him to define us. Part of that is "daily dying" to ourselves. Not just weekly, or on trips, or at camp...but daily saying to God, "It's not about me, it's about you. I lay down my desires, dreams, gifts at the foot of your throne and pick up my cross to follow you." Daily.</div>
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"What is true of Christ, is true of us." (I Would Die For You, 190)</div>
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<i><span style="color: #cc0000;"><b>What the Lord is teaching me, Part 2</b></span></i></div>
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In high school, I was a loud, rambunctious, life of the party, didn't care what anyone thought girl. I wasn't living for Christ, but I was <i style="font-weight: bold;">fun.</i> </div>
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When I began my DTS, and ultimately began to pursue a life fully following Christ, I associated those attributes with my former un-Christlike life, and it wasn't until a speaker prophesied over me that "God created you to be the things of your former, but He wants you to be those things for His glory," that I understood I needed to find the balance.</div>
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I can be a loud, life of the party, unmoved by others judgement girl who loves Christ and desires attention, not for herself, but for the glory of God. I'm not out to impress others, but for them to be impressed with Christ. I'm not out to please others, but to please my Father in Heaven. My "performance" is for an audience of One. Everyone else is watching and I pray that they'd be blessed by what they see, but my desire is for Him alone and no one else.</div>
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"Eldredge points out something I had been struggling with without even knowing it. He says that rather than hiding your strength (passion, wisdom, God-given knowledge, maturity, and authority) because the world has no room for it and people can't handle it, let it loose, and let them deal with it and stare on in wonder at the incredible things that God has done and is doing." (I Would Die For You, 191-2)</div>
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To be ashamed of "not fitting in" is to discredit the Lord for how He's made me.</div>
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Yeah...no more of that.</div>
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<i><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">What the Lord is teaching me, Part 3</span></b></i></div>
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God has a plan. My faith really gets to prove itself when things get crazy and it looks like there is no way anything can be done and then of course God provides a way. He's very good to me. He showed me (in March 2012) that my next step of faith with Him would be to go to India in 2014...and He left it at that.</div>
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I describe my faith using Psalm 119.105, "<span style="background-color: #fffefd; color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path."</span> I imagine myself standing in the woods surrounded by darkness so dense that I can't tell which way is up, but I have this little lamp and it shows me just enough light to take one step forward...that's how I see this passage. My faith is taking that step when God asks me to; once I've done that all I do is listen for God to tell me when to take another one. I just trust Him. I trust Him enough to know He has a plan. Our plans unfold like a story...stories are ruined if someone tells you how they end.</div>
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So God said India, I said yes...well first I said no, but then I said yes...because God is God and He has something good and way beyond me planned! A few days later, my outreach team met up with 50+ other students in Paris and a few of them had hearts for India! After a week with them, my Outreach team left to work with a ministry called Megacities in London (they outreach to cities of 1 million or more for an entire year); I loved my time with them. I tried to figure out why God had me partner with YWAM and not some other organization and now, a year later as I've begun planning I found out a few weeks ago that Megacities will work in India in 2014...not only have they welcomed me, but so have two other YWAM bases in India.</div>
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Oh sweet blessings from the Lord.</div>
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It's nice to know that there's a plan that is better than I could ever have imagined waiting for me.</div>
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May God be glorified!</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-17823969692100524812013-02-22T19:56:00.001+01:002013-11-11T18:04:29.438+01:00A Fortified City, an Iron Pillar, a Bronze Wall<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I haven't updated in almost a full 4 months! ...oops! A lot has been happening and all to the glory of God. I came home from my DTS and drowned in reverse culture shock, struggling to be back in my "home" with no one who understood where I was coming from, and a lot of confusion on what exactly was coming in this new season. I've always described my walk with God using Psalm 119:105, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path," and I imagine myself standing in a forest so black that it's dense and on my own I have no direction or idea of how to go forward, but God is my lamp and the light shines in the direction I'm supposed to be going just enough for me to take 1 step. After I've taken that step, the lamp continues to show me step by step and it is only with complete faith that I follow the light.<br />
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Community</div>
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I had been praying to find friends who loved Jesus for what seemed like forever and I hadn't been finding it. I've been finding people who are verbally saying they love Jesus but denying Him by their actions, or people who don't know Him, and those people are good friends but I've definitely needed solid believers to pour into me and pour into. But God can use ANYONE! I met my friend Danielle through one of my roommates who is not a believer. Danielle <i style="font-weight: bold;">gets it.</i> She totally sees the glory, understands the urgency, and seeks the fullness of Christ. We've been having some deep conversations about the Lord and His glory and His plan and the coming of His Kingdom...it goes on and on, just like His faithfulness! Because of my deep friendship with her I've been introduced to her group of friends who live in a house run by their church; it's been day and night having community with these kids! I've just been incredibly blessed and it is so worth the frustration and struggle then to have this now.<br />
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Can God?<br />
How Can God, Where Can God, Why Has God, What Can God, Who Can God, and When Will God are all questions that I've been asking in this season of life. How can God use me? Where can God take me? Why has God chosen me? What can He use me for? Who can He use, bring into my life, my ministry, and who can I, in turn, impact with those things? When will God decide that it's time, that I'm ready, that I'm worthy. I'm in amazement on a constant basis with Christ. The fact that I've chosen who I stand for, and I stand with strength and with purpose, and I'm living that purpose out...I'm in the midst of greatness. It's not 'Can God,' of course HE can HE is God, but it's 'When God' uses me, takes me, calls me, chooses me, uses others to lead me or speak to me, develops my ministry, impacts people through what He's asked me to do, sees that I'm dedicated, that I'm ready, that I'm worthy because of Christ's sacrifice..it's the reason for your life.<br />
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Calling<br />
While I'm thankful that I grew up knowing that <u style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">freedom</u> is real...growing up in America has it's complications. Specifically for me, having a lifestyle that going to college is not a choice of if but of where, choosing a major is not if you love it but if you can live the lifestyle you want with it, and where serving Christ is okay and acceptable as long as you keep those beliefs to yourself or within your bible study group. Interestingly enough, God has asked me to leave every single bit of that behind to follow Him which I did last year at my <a href="http://keepupwithkortnee.blogspot.com/2012/01/passion-2012-when-god-has-completely.html">DTS--click to read more about that</a>. Follow me as I follow the example of Christ; I live this out every single day or at least try in every aspect to do so. Whether that leads me to serving at home, or in India, or in France, or on some remote, unreached island in the middle of nowhere...that's where it leads and there is absolutely no fear in that.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-35510953695027284532012-10-19T18:56:00.002+02:002013-11-11T18:04:49.927+01:00For the Lord, Our God, Is Faithful.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today is a beautiful day.<br />
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I woke up this morning and for the first time in a few weeks I listened to worship, I talked with God, and I just let go of everything. This season is about trusting God, do I trust Him? Why wouldn't I? He has never given me a reason to think that I couldn't, and yet, at every opportunity to run to Him instead I run from Him.<br />
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I've never had a father...and yet I always have. God has taken care of me, always, He has never failed me and of course He never will. I needed to get my heart right. I'm thankful that I did this morning. I felt myself come back into God's presence and He hasn't left me yet. Continuing to revitalize the parts of me that were dying. Proclaiming life over them. Taking authority and keeping me in His thoughts. He's good.<br />
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There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning. I fight demons sometimes. Demons that tell me it's too hard to live this way, demons that try to convince me that I <i>need </i>to cut myself in order to feel relief. Things that tell me I'm not good enough. I'm not that person anymore. I haven't been for that person for years. My relief, my joy, my hope, my strength they don't come from those things anymore. There are no more demonic strongholds over those areas of my life.<br />
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Life is a conscious decision. A few days ago I lost sight of that. I remember being 13 years old and living in a blur everyday cutting myself, everyday wanting to die, everyday hoping that if God really existed that He would get me through another day, that He would save me. I remember how dark those days were, how heavy and dense and thick those days were. I hated being in that place and I choose not to go there anymore. It's too enticing, it's too familiar in the worst ways, it's deadly.<br />
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This season of rest doesn't mean that what I'm doing is worthless or pointless. Just because God hasn't made me a millionaire doesn't mean that He isn't providing and taking care of me. Matthew 6:19-34 talks about God clothing, feeding, and housing the birds and says the we, his people, are much more valuable than they so how much more will he provide for us? I live in an apartment. Last week I was given 3 bags of clothes including a coat, and I've had so many people buying or bringing me food. I am in His favor. He is providing and just because that doesn't look the way I want it to or expect it to doesn't make it any less valuable. Man, I've been ungrateful. I am ungrateful. I've seen that these last few days. That my heart could turn to stone over some coins, call me Judas. I don't need to worry, tomorrow has enough worry on its own.<br />
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In the end, God is still God, He is still Good, and He has the best plans for me.<br />
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I trust Him.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-3154066161025642562012-09-03T16:39:00.001+02:002012-09-03T16:39:03.902+02:00"Is anything too hard for me?"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A question that the Lord has been asking for quite some time now.<br />
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Kortnee, how much more do you need to see? When will you fully let go of <i>everything</i> in your life? Where is the trust in our relationship?<br />
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In the book of Jeremiah, the book God has given me for India, He asked me a serious question that shook the core of all that I thought I was; 31.22, "How long will you wander, O unfaithful daughter?"<br />
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CRAP.<br />
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God, for just a moment, can you not ask me questions that are going to unravel everything that's left of me?<br />
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I've been stuck on this verse, continuously coming back to it, and trying to figure out for the life of me how to give God an honest answer.<br />
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Now it's time for the backstory of all that has happened since September 1 to September 2. In the course of 24 hours the God of all creation stirred up my heart to change my life <b><u>from this day forward.</u></b> You may only get that if you go to LifeChurch, but I highly encourage you to watch the latest Marriage series. Anyway, I went to the gym on Saturday morning and God said, "Talk to the girl who just walked in." I turned around and sure enough there was a girl there, I continued running, deciding if I would speak to her or not because everything is a choice. Within 3 seconds of saying hello we had sparked a new friendship and conversation that led us to find a great overlapping in our lives. I found out that, Efe (eff-ay), is 28 and not a student at UCO which led her to ask me what I was studying and I told her, naturally, about doing a DTS with YWAM. Her mouth dropped as she gasped for the word, "NO!" My first thoughts were...that good, huh? Then she began to tell me how for the last three weeks God has continued to bring her fellowship and friends who are from YWAM Kona, YWAM Orange Country, and that she's been having dreams of YWAM and Australia and that she'd had a dream on Friday night and when she woke up Saturday morning she said to the Lord, "I am listening and I want whatever you want," and then we met in the gym!! How cool is God?!<br />
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We talked a bit longer and exchanged phone numbers. She told me about a worship event the next night and I invited her to church. Yesterday, Sunday, we got up and went to church and heard a great message. I ran into a few friends there and so did she so four of us went out afterward and grabbed tea and crepes and then we fellowshipped for hours. Testimonies of God's grace, having prayers answered, promises fulfilled, and praising an Almighty God who loves us unconditionally and gives us all that we NEED and sometimes blesses in abundance to those needs.<br />
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As per usual, all things must be documented with a photo on #instagram, and we asked a girl in the shop if she would mind. Maybe you know what's next...God asked me to talk to her. We were leaving, so I scribbled a thank you note to her and said we'd love to hangout with my name and number attached, and then we left. I found out that she's from California and she's a Christian and she's only just moved to Oklahoma. What a blessing!<br />
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At this point our day is just getting started. We make our way to NW OKC and sit down with a family that Efe knows. During this time I am able to hear the hearts of these children who are <b><i>sold out</i></b> for the Gospel. They're going on mission, they're getting their GEDs so they can go into YWAM, so they can go into the field and be missionaries, and they're trusting God to give them the desires of their hearts....to serve Him fully.<br />
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I was incredibly blessed by them. We shared testimonies and prayers and vision for the coming of our Lord. It was an incredibly ordained time where I found that this family leads the worship event we were going to so we all headed over to the location and then God just rocked the house.<br />
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He does that because He's God! Visions, prophetic acts, people getting words for the city, intercession, spontaneous worship, the reading of Scripture, and freedom in the Spirit. I am blessed.<br />
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I have been praying and asking God to connect me with a fellowship outside of my church for 3 weeks and He answered with a resounding, "I heard you." Thank you Isaiah 65.24, while we are still prying he answers, and He has. Right under my nose where I have grown up! Around the corner from where I lived are people willing to live and die for the Gospel, sold out for the beauty of Christ, and ready to bring the truth of Christ to this fatherless, godless, and dark city.<br />
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He's showing up.<br />
The time is here.<br />
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All of that because I chose to speak to the girl in the gym. God solidified her next season and answered a multitude of prayers of mine. Last week, I spoke to my bible study about radical obedience, what's that look like?<br />
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For me, it's this:<br />
Obeying without hesitation.<br />
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When I hear God, it's clear. That moment of, 'Should I?' All that is out the window, of course I should, it's not like it's Satan saying, "Talk to that girl and share Jesus with her," because that's the last thing he wants!<br />
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Live your life as worship!<br />
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Now for a brief about India:<br />
I'm going, that's decided. I'm in the process of securing a position with Pioneers. Going through the interview processes and applications and still praying about what God wants. It's all about His will and not about mine so trying to keep the focus on that. If it doesn't work out with one organization that's because God has planned something else. I'm looking forward to more of an update on that soon.<br />
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My finances are crazy right now.<br />
I'm living at my means which makes me feel like Paul, I know what it is to have and what it is to have not, and that's beautiful to me! I'm learning to live simply and I'm in love with it. I'm putting myself on a $20/week budget for groceries. This month I was supposed to only have $20 until next month, but then I found out for some reason I don't have a cell phone bill due until October! It's a definite blessing because now I have an extra $100 to bless others and to stay "warm and well fed." Thank you, James.<br />
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My heart is wrenching for those without and I desire to be like my God though I am unworthy. The Son of Man has no place to rest His head, do you really want to follow Him? I do.<br />
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Until next time,<br />
Kortnee </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-29155632612052713282012-07-04T15:28:00.001+02:002012-07-04T15:28:04.313+02:00Welcome back, welcome back!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have been back in the United States for 8 days now and it has been an amazing "re-entry" for me! I spent last week in Dallas catching up with my friends there and doing some network marketing at the same time...I know, back to the 'busy' life already, but that's how I like my life!<br />
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Monday night, I drove up with my girlfriends Lauren and Toni to Oklahoma City and yesterday we drove to Stillwater where I have been catching up with all my friends here. It's been great seeing them, catching up on their lives and sharing what God has done in mine, and through those conversations I just get this overwhelming word: <b>GROWTH.</b><br />
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I have grown so much in these six months that it is mind boggling to be just a drop in this ocean of people. So while it is great to know that I've grown and that I need to continue to grow, it is really humbling to know there are 7 billion other people who need to grow or continue to grow with God.<br />
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It's so cool! I just love who God is and His faithfulness in all things. I have seen my friends and it feels like no time has passed between us. These are the friendships that I long for. I love these girls!<br />
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And, really exciting...HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA! I have come home with a new love of my country. You know that saying, "You don't know what you have until it's gone?" well I definitely realized how great it is to live here. The rest of the world is amazing, but right here in Oklahoma, United States...that's home and it just feels right!<br />
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So while I sit back today and enjoy the beauty of this nation and pray into its future and its values and just ask for the holiness and grace of God in all things I am also going to rejoice in what the Lord has done and is doing.<br />
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It has been an incredible past six months, but I'm just getting started.<br />
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Welcome Home,<br />
Kortnee</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-24786027473308288172012-06-24T17:52:00.001+02:002012-10-19T17:38:50.380+02:00Memories That Never Die<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The past few days have been full of laughter, last moments, and love. What began in January as a trip to Atlanta, GA to encounter Jesus turned into a life altering 3 days and as 12 students set out to seek the face of the Lord on the other side of the world in Biarritz, FR...the number of students would soon become 13 as I joined the team. It seems forever ago when that moment was fresh, when it was reality, when it was still up in the air as to what <em>exactly </em>I would be doing in France. </div>
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We celebrated graduation on Friday afternoon with speeches, slideshows, and delicious food being served to us. We were served chicken breast, carrots, and potatoes with aioli. It was a brilliant meal shared with hands down the most appropriate and amazing people for this season in my life.<br />
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Then we walked down to Grand Plage, some of us for the last time maybe in our lives, we watched the clouds rolls in and sat in awe of the glory of Jesus. All things in creation point to His face, His character, and they bow down to him. Watching a sunset can be incredibly humbling as you realize how finite and small you are and you breathe in the realization that there is no way we are the biggest things in the universe. Even the foolishness of God is greater than man's wisdom.<br />
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And as we sat around the table yesterday morning, taking each other in, the laughs, personalities, jokes, I realized how much of an impact they had on me. I understand that they really changed me and shaped me. We took many pictures, we held each other to remember what we smelled like, we wiped at each other's flowing tears, and we realized that this was really the end. Likely, the last time we would all be together in one place. </div>
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<br />
The four of us piled into Dan's car, myself, KT, Tucker, and Kelsey. We waved to the girls and watched as they became distant figures in the mirror. Dan drove us to the train station, walked us to the platform where hugged us tight, told us to be safe, then we watched him blur out of our vision and boarded our train.<br />
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<br />
Six hours, two movies, and a few naps later we got off in Paris Montparnasse station and headed to our apartment. The eerieness of going through the metro station with only 4 people instead of 13 overwhelmed us. It is a strange feeling when you have boarded metros together for 3 consecutive months on a regular basis hearing the voices of others, looking for that safety, and it not being there.<br />
<br />
We arrived at our apartment, settled in, went and ordered pizza and then ate on a hill that overlooks most of Paris to celebrate KT's birthday. We returned to the apartment, I packed, KT Skyped, the others updated family members and then we woke early this morning to bid KT goodbye. Next to go, Tucker and Kelsey tomorrow morning and I will leave in the afternoon.<br />
<br />
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A few more memories from this last week;</div>
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<br /></div>
It is very surreal.<br />
I'm excited, but it just hasn't fully hit me yet.<br />
Reverse culture shock here I come.<br />
<br />
The road has been long and it wasn't paved so I've stumbled here and there, but how amazing to look back on this time. What a blessing it has been. Thank you for journeying with me. Until the next adventure....<br />
<br />
-Kortnee</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-80614372380393807032012-06-16T09:51:00.000+02:002012-06-16T09:51:02.934+02:00He is the lead role<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: center;">
Are you in awe of the cross?</div>
I certainly wasn't most of my time here and only in the past few weeks have I begun to comprehend what Jesus did...how incredible a love, how mighty a Savior, how Anointed with grace that he would do something so infinite.<br />
<br />
Last night Kelsey and I had a 3 hour conversation about a lot of things, but really centralized on God and what life looking like Him really is. It's scary that we can be so incredibly prideful in acts of humility.<br />
<br />
During evangelism yesterday I spoke with a guy and at the end he shook my hand and hugged me. The disturbing thing I immediately thought was, 'Why is this man hugging me? This is weird...ew,' and then my next thought was, 'How do you think you're above hugging people? What do you think you looked like when Jesus found you? Jesus loves these people, He loves them all, and he doesn't care what they look like...and that I was one of the worst.'<br />
<br />
<i>Talk about a humbling moment. My heart just broke for God's grace...how much I yearn to be like Him.</i><br />
<br />
I always wonder if Jesus was here today if I would follow him.<br />
<i>It's something to think about and be honest with yourself. Why haven't I been able to say YES, of course I would...because in the earthly I can be many things, most of which, do not look like Jesus.</i><br />
<br />
But God says that I am different, set apart, adopted...so I choose to be those things by His grace and nothing else, thank you Holy Spirit.<br />
<br />
As we spend this Saturday packing and cleaning so we can leave for Biarritz tomorrow I am happy to say that I feel clean and I feel like my heart doesn't have any baggage right now. There's this cloud nine feeling coursing through my veins. And I think it comes from knowing<br />
<i><br /></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>He is everything.</i></div>
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com20 Avenue d'Eylau, 75116 Pariisi, Ranska48.864714761802773 2.2851562548.843819261802771 2.24567425 48.885610261802775 2.32463825tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-66320395250679482102012-06-14T23:36:00.001+02:002012-06-14T23:38:17.959+02:00Tomorrow's Friday, Friday!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Part of our ministry time in Paris has been to work and run the restaurant run by the Youth With A Mission base here while their current team is on outreach. It has been a fun experience, last week was my turn on the rotations to be in the kitchen cooking and I learned how to flambe! Half of the team works in the restaurant on Friday and Saturday nights and since this is our last weekend in Paris, that means that today was our last full day as an entire team.<br />
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<br />
So we went to the Eiffel Tower and met one of the ministries that we worked with in London and had lunch under the tower with them, then we took the metro back to Belleville to have history class, we took the metro back to the Eiffel Tower and looked at all of the freemasonry that was represented on different monuments and then we walked down Champs-Elysees praying for the area. It was a good last day.<br />
<br />
The next few days will be full of packing, cleaning, and evangelizing! I'm excited for the weekend and I should definitely get in bed (it's 11:32 pm here in France). And as Rihanna says...'cheers to the freakin' weekend.'</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-40145394646935519372012-06-07T01:22:00.004+02:002012-06-07T01:22:56.856+02:00Has it hit you yet?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I heard this question so much before I left and in the first few weeks of being in Europe. I always said no and tonight I am finally realizing that I have lived here and seen amazing things, done things only done with the help of God, and seen miracles the size of mountains.<br />
<br />
Yes, it has finally hit me.<br />
Now that I'm preparing for graduation, I cannot believe that I've been to two of the major cities in the world...I've lived in them! I've been to Spain, I've surfed, I went to the beach everyday for 2 months, I've eaten <i>real </i>food. Some people would say, "do the 'crazy' things...while you're young." And I say, "Do the crazy things." I'm not doing anything that millions of people haven't already done. I'm not seeing anything "first." I'm walking where feet have already been! That's encouraging, though! I am not a tourist, of course I have seen all the stuff, but the only architecture I'm interested in is that which God has made. The mountains, the ocean, the islands, the Great Plains...no man can ever come close to what He has made. In my time away, I've killed my materialism or rather Jesus took it and trashed it, and I am so thankful for that. It's a reminder though to hold things with an open hand or it just hurts more.<br />
<br />
I will be focusing on making relationships with women. What I've learned is that while I was being raised I never had a true mother or father figure. I was raised by my grandmother, whom I have an excellent relationship with now, but then it was very tough. So I've never known how to have good relationships with men or with women. I want to go home and work hard for that, first and foremost with Jesus, always...and then with other women. I have no interest in being friends with men the first few months that I'm home. Most girls have no problems having 'guy' friends but since they don't like 'drama' they never have girlfriends. I'm not in high school anymore, I understand now that you need strongly rooted women to support you throughout life.<br />
<br />
Jesus, take all of my life. It is yours.<br />
<br />
I'm ready for Wal-Mart at 12 AM to grab Doritos, cream cheese, and nail polish. I'm ready to be able to buy 2 double cheeseburgers, fries, and a parfait for less than $5.<br />
<br />
Europe is amazing, but it isn't home, and on that note neither is America. Home is everywhere even when you don't have a place to lay your head. But, America is what I know.<br />
<br />
For 20 years, it's all I've ever known and I am reminded that I have to be careful. God will make me strong, He will prosper me, because He has promised me, but I must keep myself accountable as well.<br />
<br />
In December, I turn 21, and I won't be drinking. From July 1, 2012 to July 1, 2013 I will be sober for an entire year. Why? Not because I'm 'religious.' I believe that Jesus created wine from water, I believe that drinking can be honoring to God, and I know that I have never consumed alcohol for the glory of God.<br />
<br />
It's a learning curve and I am definitely learning.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-32913119374656143552012-05-26T00:03:00.000+02:002012-05-26T00:03:05.607+02:00Non, mais ca va!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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With the pigeons above me and the mice below me it seems to be true that I have arrived in Paris.<br />
<br />
Beautiful sunshine has covered us as we walked along the Seine worshipping the God that reigns, speaking out truth along the streets, and praying in the Notre Dame. While it's amazing there is a real fight going on. The kind that makes Ephesians 6.12 really spring to life, we are not fighting against flesh and blood but against the spiritual evil in the heavenly realms, and let me say that the evil here knows who we are.<br />
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As I walk down the street and men come out of their shops, sit up against their shop doors looking at me like American boys eye the latest edition of Call of Duty, I realize that spiritually something else is happening here. There is this ferocity on their faces, they look gruff, they could physically strong arm me, and in the area of Paris where it isn't safe for a woman to be out late at night all of those things sound intimidating...and yet they aren't. Though I should be scared I realize that I have all authority and in any situation like that there is absolutely no way that the evil in this world can overcome Jesus Christ.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FV-zqkEvi00/T7_y6mxNb5I/AAAAAAAAAaA/lQprF0Yu-6Y/s1600/DSC02419.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FV-zqkEvi00/T7_y6mxNb5I/AAAAAAAAAaA/lQprF0Yu-6Y/s320/DSC02419.JPG" width="240" /></a>As a prayer request though, you can pray for the men on our team who live in a rougher part of Paris than we are, and have been followed and threatened the last days. In the authority of Jesus Christ I know that nothing will harm them because God wants to prosper each one of them as He promises in Jeremiah 29.11, but I also pray for breakthrough with these young men. It is so easy to judge them and I just think there is enough of that in the world without the Christians doing it, too. God loves them just as He loves us and we need to show them that.<br />
<br />
I am so excited for what the Lord is going to do here in the next few weeks and there is more reality to the fact that I am going to be leaving this land in a little over a month and heading back to one that I have known all my life. I just wonder what is next? I'm not worried, because I know that the Lord has a plan and that He never fails so I trust in that.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ijb3Q3JQMow/T7_-6IOaEsI/AAAAAAAAAao/IM2N6NQdKGE/s1600/477874_3535208736326_1155545227_32746922_121100287_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ijb3Q3JQMow/T7_-6IOaEsI/AAAAAAAAAao/IM2N6NQdKGE/s320/477874_3535208736326_1155545227_32746922_121100287_o.jpg" width="239" /></a>Today, Kelsey and I went shopping with Juan to a grocery store made for restaurant owners only to buy food for our first night working in the restaurant that is run by YWAM Paris! It was a really hot day so I wore a tank top and shorts but to my surprise it was extremely cold inside the store, tomorrow I will be prepared. Kelsey snapped a shot of me...I am shaking and telling Juan that I am "SO COLD!" and as the norm goes around here, he is laughing at me! :)<br />
<br />
Personal prayer requests would be for my family to be strengthened in their faith, to have open hearts to the words and convictions, safe travels, accomodations in New York, financial donations to come in for future ministry and travel, and for a firm ground when I get back to Oklahoma to find a church family to grow in and be loved. :)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Before we left London, we did some work with a church that I very much
fell in love with, St. Peter's. Here are a few videos that we made for
them, The Road to Emmaus<br />
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Doubting Thomas, </div>
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<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
as well as an evangelism
tool that we used was to have open mic/coffee house nights and I
performed! Enjoy the content :)</div>
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-36287163237401773882012-05-21T16:05:00.002+02:002012-05-21T16:05:50.917+02:00la la la London<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today is my last full day in London.<br />
<br />
I have met the most incredible individuals, youth groups, Christians, non-Christians, musicians, artists, and even some people who are in between all those things...and I can say at the end of this 7 weeks that God has grown me and opened my eyes to loving people.<br />
<br />
Seeing what God is doing here in London and that the people, the youth especially, are ready and excited for Revival. Every Christian wants to see God's Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. Amen! I came to do what God wanted me to do in France and now I get to see how my obedience to that is changing parts of the world.<br />
<br />
Obeying God without hesitation is one of the biggest things I have learned here. This DTS would have still happened if I had decided to stay at OSU, take a prospective internship with Google, and ignore the clear directions to follow God here...and as much as God has changed my heart for him in the last 5 months I could have been equally as different on a path far away from Him. I am so blessed.<br />
<br />
I'm looking forward to trying to come back and continue the work that has been started here before 2012 ends. I know God is planning big and amazing things here. I cannot wait to see them!<br />
<br />
I intend to live every day of the rest of my life like an act of worship so that I don't have to build myself up to 'feeling like it' because I want to feel like this forever. <br />
<br />
Tomorrow, Paris.<br />
<br />
Love for the last time from London,<br />
Kortnee</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-22254846508861636782012-05-20T01:05:00.001+02:002012-05-20T01:05:53.942+02:00No time...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Things are going great in London, I don't really have the time to update so here's a small one.<br />
<br />
Flying to Paris on Tuesday with the team, prayers please!<br />
3.5 weeks in Paris, then back to Biarritz for graduation and debrief.<br />
<br />
Prayers are always amazing, specifically Ephesians 6.19-20 over me and Galatians 1.10 and 6.9, and finances as well.<br />
<br />
Update in Paris or before I leave on Tuesday.<br />
<br />
Love from London,<br />
Kortnee</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-86214143123719476482012-05-12T08:15:00.000+02:002012-05-12T08:15:21.619+02:004 months ago..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"I am so blessed and thankful for your love. My name is Kortnee and I am
currently a sophomore at OSU. I went to Passion last week and God
completely changed the plans I had for myself. I was supposed to come
back to school, work for Google this summer, and then study abroad in
August for 12 months and then God happened. I remember crying and
praying and confessing my sins aloud as 45,000 other believers around me
praised and worshiped their God, and as I was repenting and asking God
to forgive me, cleanse me, and never let me go again all the light I
have ever felt in the world engulfed me. I prayed that God would show me
what the next step was and that He would make whatever the decision was
very clear to me so that all that was left to do would be to obey His
call! And I got exactly what I prayed for! I come from a very loving yet
materialistic family who does not support missions as a 'lifestyle,'
but rather as a hobby or good deed. While that is hard, I fully believe
in God's power and that His arm is not too short (Numbers 11:23). The
cost of the program is $5100 roughly (4000 Euros) and as I walk in faith
knowing that God will provide I pray that you all walk with me in
prayer first and if compelled financially, too. I am so incredibly
blessed and excited to pursue the will of God sans hesitation and I
fully believe He is going to use me and that I will grow. May His life
light shine through me!"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
What an amazing reminder at what God has done and is doing. I am so happy I decided to blog about this...what a testimony. Lord, praises to You for Your faithfulness.<br />
<br />
And thank you to all my friends who have donated money. To Pastor Cameron and the entire church family who have become my family, Callan for your initial belief in what God was doing, and all those who supported me.<br />
<br />
It has meant so incredibly much to me.<br />
You have held me up in prayer and in faith when even my family didn't.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Kortnee</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-11433076218302872712012-05-11T10:33:00.000+02:002012-05-11T10:33:35.183+02:00Let Go<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I apologize for not updating my blog for the past 8 days...there really is no excuse at all. <br />
<br />
<br />
11 days left in London! Oh my goodness, it's surreal. A
few weeks left in Europe and then back to the land of the...whatever
it's becoming these days. I feel like I have no idea what's happening in
America, but maybe that isn't a bad thing, I'll find out when I get
there!<br />
<br />
The week was tough: my great great uncle died, a few friends had some drama back at home, and tension with the team. <br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="text Prov-27-19" id="en-NIV-17189">As water reflects the face,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Prov-27-19">so one’s life reflects the heart.</span></span> <br />
<div class="poetry top-05">
<div class="line">
<span class="text Prov-27-20" id="en-NIV-17190">Death and Destruction are never satisfied, </span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Prov-27-20">and neither are human eyes. </span></span></div>
</div>
Proverbs 27:19-20<br />
<br />
<br />
I was reminded that my life is my offering to God. And I
cannot be a daughter to righeousness and a friend of sin simultaneously.
I must choose, I must decide, I must pick one. Sometimes I'm tired,
sometimes I just don't feel like it, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes.
This week I became incredibly aware of the elitism, entitlement, and
complaining that is part of my daily life. You know, that's disgusting.
It makes me want to throw up understanding that there is so much more in
me that God has to fix. As the verse above says that human eyes are
never satisfied...that's how I feel. It's just...never enough, but I
want that to change from it's not enough to it's <i>more than enough.</i> I need to understand that I have much more than I need and some do not even have that.<br />
<br />
<br />
In addition, I found this new artist that I am borderline
obsessed with and I was listening to a new song, 'Let Go,' and it
reminded me of Michael. Just the words and the singer's voice and I
completely fell apart. Earlier this week, I had a dream about him..he
was so real and it was weird! I was reminded of how sweet and real and
valuable his love was for me and that is because his love came from God.
So, it was healing and revealing and it helped me solidify some other
things in my life.<br />
<br />
<br />
God has truly been highlighting relationships to me. With my
family, my friends, strangers...and I want to be able to love everyone. I
definitely have the ability, but you know every single thing happens
because of a relationship...friendships, love, quarrels, separation,
marriages, wars, etc. It all happens depending on your relationship with
that person. So comes the famous adage to, "Practice what you preach,"
so this is my challenge for my life.<br />
<br />
<br />
This week, I also had a few conversations about praise and giving
it all to God. So when someone says, "Your voice is really beautiful." I
should reply that I'm thankful God has blessed me instead of taking
that as pride and becoming egotistical.<br />
<br />
<br />
I have much to say and write about, but I just don't have the time right now.<br />
<br />
<br />
Thanks to all the people who view my blog from time to time and
those who read faithfully. Keep praying for me, please. It is such an
encouragement to get e-mails, messages, and to see the stats of the 30
different countries that are being impacted.<br />
<br />
<br />
Glory to God, in the highest!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-78674521651167144542012-05-03T12:10:00.002+02:002012-05-24T11:21:33.932+02:00John 3.30<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande',tahoma,verdana,arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">yesterday during evagelism:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande',tahoma,verdana,arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">1 Muslim woman, 1 Jewish woman, 1 Atheist woman, 1 Agnostic woman.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande',tahoma,verdana,arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I had amazing and appointed conversations where all heard the Gospel.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande',tahoma,verdana,arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">So blessed :)</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande',tahoma,verdana,arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">He must become greater, I must become less.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande',tahoma,verdana,arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">God has prepared the way and I am just walking in faith on it. I have been anointed to do great things in His name and for His glory. I'm ready, I'm willing, I'm going to succeed. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength and God knows the plans He has for me and they are not to harm me but to prosper me. I trust in the Lord and do not lean on my own understanding I simply submit to Him and He makes my paths straight.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande',tahoma,verdana,arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande',tahoma,verdana,arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Lord, you are number one.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande',tahoma,verdana,arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">***Monday, we spent the day exploring London as tourists. Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, London Eye, M&M World, and these massive lions. It was a great day!</span></div>
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-34176136525740250562012-04-26T10:17:00.001+02:002012-04-26T10:17:25.454+02:00The 12<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Jesus sends out the 12.<br />
<br />
"So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who can kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraidé you are worth more than many sparrows."<br />
<br />
<br />
Tuesday, our team went to 'London Calling' a commissioning service of Christians to go and proclaim the name of Jesus Christ in the streets of London and people just were so reserved about it. I mean, this is our GOD. So, this was a perfect Scripture today...read all of Matthew 10.<br />
<br />
I want to give everything, forever. <br />
<br />
love from London,<br />
KB</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-88903196469482695502012-04-22T15:51:00.000+02:002012-04-22T15:57:49.679+02:00Revelation.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Yesterday I gave my testimony to 100 people that I did not know at an all day church event where people learn about the 'Journey with God.' I then sat in on a session titled, 'Christ in the Workplace,' and I heard many justifications to why you can't talk about God/faith at work because you might lose your job.<br />
<br />
I also heard a lot of people saying..."You're young. You don't understand, I've lived in the world, I've got 30 years on you....I understand that you're 'following Jesus,' but I know how the world works and you need to have a backup plan." <br />
<br />
The only reason you need a backup plan with God is because you don't trust Him, you don't really believe that He exists, or you think He may fail you. If God asks you to take a leap of faith, to follow Him into the dark, to leave your life in Oklahoma and move to France with no support and no money, but to trust Him, would you do it? <br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /><br />
And if you say no or that you can't ask yourself why, but also ask which of those first 3 things is true for you. <br />
<br />
I followed God, I came to France, I listened. <br />
<br />
I needed money for a plane ticket to France which came through a donation from a church full of people that I did not know...$1500. I needed money for Discipleship Training School which costs $5000 and I saw God provide for me. Not just that, but the Lord provided another $1200 for a return ticket to America after I've finished.<br />
<br />
If God fails you then God is a liar. But, I've been following Jesus and I have found him to be true in all that He says. If you don't believe that God will never fail you, that He will never lie to you, that He will take care of you, and that He loves you...if you don't believe that then you don't really believe in God's power and His promises.<br />
<br />
Take a moment right now and decide if you can stop living to serve yourself and live to serve Him. He has plans to <b><i>prosper </i></b>you. Let him.<br />
<br />
love,<br />
Kortnee</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-69003747405009401472012-04-21T01:15:00.000+02:002012-04-21T01:15:08.962+02:00YOUR LOVE NEVER FAILS.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My every move bring glory to your name!<br />
<div>
I will follow you, <i>NO </i>turning back.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Had an incredible night giving praise to JESUS CHRIST!</div>
<div>
A Father to the fatherless, strength to the weak, rest for the restless. You are my everything.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Are you free? Are you full of joy? Does your life have a purpose? With Jesus all of those things are true.</div>
<div>
I'm not talking rules and regulations, I mean true love that is relational.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Matthew 7.21, live and breathe it, let the Lord in. </div>
<div>
He is faithful, never lies, and always provides.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-31259326855055328792012-04-15T23:34:00.000+02:002012-04-16T00:12:04.747+02:00Love wins, especially in the end.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Independent. God.<br />
<br />
Looking at these two words I really want to be dependent in God and independent of sin. This morning, Romans 12:16 was highlighted to me, "<b>Live in harmony with one another. </b><i>Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. </i><u>Do not be conceited."</u> This really hits me in my stomach, because I'm not living this Scripture everyday.<br />
<br />
Especially 'living in harmony with one another' has been a struggle...add in spiritual warfare, community living, long days, and it's a really good recipe for living with one another, but not always in harmony. And I really have to call myself on the fact that I haven't preferred others in every situation, in Ro 12.18 it goes on to say, "If it is possible, as far as it <u style="font-weight: bold;">depends on you,</u> live at peace with everyone." Thank you, Lord for making me realize that I have no excuse. ;) I also have this realization that when I graduate the DTS in June that while I had this amazing experience with these people and I've really seen God working in every single person, that we all have very different paths on this journey and they may not cross again until Eternity, but even if I'm not best friends with everyone I know that it's okay because I love them so much...and God has so many plans, so many incredible plans for every single one of them. So, I want to consciously say that I want to make an effort every day to live in harmony as far as it depends on me and if you would partner with me in praying that over our time here, that would be awesome.<br />
--[[And a bit of encouragement on this subject: "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the Law." Ro 13.8]]<br />
<u><br /></u><br />
I also had the privilege of working with an event called, 'Lobby Lunch,' where the church opens up to members of the community (low income, high income, homeless, tourists, etc) and serves them a beautiful lunch with the best. I mean, truly being a servant. The hardest part of serving others is that my flesh naturally wants to be self serving...praise the Lord that Yeshua was just the opposite making himself the lowest. I found myself being very unwilling and then I realized that in the eyes of the world, Jesus was a person of low position...a carpenter, a servant, a blasphemer...and Lord forbid that I turn the One who saved me away. Please pray that for me because people are just people. I want to see them as God sees them, loved, cherished, special, beautiful, worthy, chosen, important.<br />
<br />
*Do not be conceited. In my thoughts, in my talents, in my actions. Gal 1.10, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Am I singing to please the Lord or to receive praise? Am I acting out of love or love of recognition? My life before YWAM was very attuned to receiving praise...as a business major, I thrive on the consistency of praise from men. The life I'm living now is very different, praise the Lord because He has proven His faithfulness repeatedly and I know that this is the right direction.<br />
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
<br />
We met a girl who became a Christian right after we met her and prayed for her! On Saturday night, we had an open mic/coffee house night and it was such a success! Lots of talented people singing, reading poetry, performing spoken word, and just collaborating on the spot. We had a great night, met some great contacts in the city, and were able to pray with about 5 or 6 people. Praise the Lord! God is really working here, he's really stirring up the youth, starting a revolution. The Lord is able.<br />
<br />
<br />
Thanks for following the blog, thanks for sharing in what God is doing here, and thank you for your prayers.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">"If the Lord delights in a man's way,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">he makes his steps firm;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">though he stumble, he will not fall,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">for the Lord upholds him with his hand.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Psalm 37.23-24</span>
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">love from London,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Kortnee</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-731667836947776228.post-82826910462940433882012-04-12T00:35:00.001+02:002012-04-12T00:42:02.155+02:00I Don't Want to Go Through the Motions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Sitting on the floor with my things scattered around me I began to write, thoughts flowing from pen to paper ever so naturally, lyrics drilling to the core of my soul:<br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">"I don't want to go through the motions, I don't want to spend one more day without your all consuming passion inside of me. I don't want to spend my whole life asking, 'What if I had given everything instead of going through the motions?'"</span></i><br />
<br />
I titled my journal that I didn't want to go through the motions and I mean that I want to be eager about the Gospel, I want to make Jesus famous, I want to fearlessly make known the mystery of the Gospel.<br />
<br />
Little did I know that the Lord would really give me that chance through a woman named Kathy from Ireland. We began talking when the pug she was dog sitting, Pepper, ran up to me and started playing. I was able to share my testimony with her and really tell her the truth of Jesus Christ. She was raised Catholic so we talked of Purgatory, death, and what a life living after Jesus looks like. It was a truly divine appointment and the Holy Spirit was with me, bless the Lord. Nearing the end of our conversation, she told me that she had really been closed to God even though she attended church regularly and that maybe now was the time to be open to what He has for her. I was able to share about 'mountaintops' and how coming down from the mountain is the hardest because that is when Satan attacks you and she said, "Wow, it's crazy that you just said that because that is where I struggle." It was really cool to see the Lord work today.<br />
<br />
Then, I got so blessed right before leaving. I was hanging out with the nannies, as there are many here in London, and I was playing catch with the dogs that one of the nannies is in charge of, and I hit this guy sitting on a bench. So, I ran to go and apologize and that started a conversation and I find out that my new friend is leaving for South Africa tomorrow, Thursday, to be a volunteer worker with human rights and he's only been here for 2 days. It was just cool being able to have him for dinner and sharing love and laughter with him. He told us it was his, "best memory in London."<br />
<br />
My life is just really cool, I constantly see that Jesus is so mighty a King, and I am so blessed. Words are not enough, bless the name of the Lord!<br />
<br />
Some other things that have been going on are how God has been working on me relationally, how He is shaping my future to serve Him, and how to love and be loved and to be honest and real about love. It's an interesting set of lessons.<br />
<br />
And, I don't have the energy to blog about the whole thing but let's just say India 2014 ;)<br />
<br />
goodnight & love from London,<br />
KB</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comKensington, Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea, London, UK51.505359 -0.19691351.4954755 -0.216654 51.5152425 -0.177172