'He chose to give us'

I read James this morning and here are some key pieces I picked out:
'He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.'
'Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.'
'Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be given to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment! '
'You see that his faith and his deeds were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did.'
'...no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With our tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.'
'Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will do this or that.'


Also, the DTS is going really well and I'm having a lot of fun :)
The lectures are incredible, the teachings are solid, and I'm seeing what needs to be fixed in my heart.
God is definitely transforming my soul. Making me a woman of His word, a woman after His heart.
Just to try and grasp His love makes my head spin although the picture of His love is becoming a little clearer.

Definitely hitting frustrations with the financial situation. Still owe $5,086 for the program and just meeting so much opposition, but this week more people in my family are speaking to me. I'm just praying for God to open the hearts of His people. Those who are able to support in prayer and financially of course.

I'm going to try and update more often, but until then here are some photos :)

Saying goodbye to a member of the Outreach Team! We love you!

 

Having fun before class!

Baking with our favorite French students!

This is the cafe area where the students can buy tea and coffee during their lunch break.

Cam! :)

I was not as good at baking as everyone else!

Playing around singing Adele on the guitar!

Singing some worship songs :D

Arn!

team photo!

Thomas

Pray for these high school students to have their ears opened to the gospel and the power of Jesus Christ. As a believer we know how incredibly life transforming His love is.

Is That Really You, GOD?

God is consistently wrecking me for His words, to speak life into His lost lambs.
Two instances of people yearning for Jesus:

Earlier this week we found out that 2 of the rooms in the house had bed bugs. This spurred those two rooms having to do laundry at the public laundromat for about 7 hours. A few students took their books, Is That Really You God or ITRYG, to read while they washed. While they were there they began to talk to an English-speaking woman who was really interested in the book and what it was about. One of the students began to tell her it was about hearing the voice of God and the start of YWAM. Of course this led to questions about what YWAM was and the student was able to share what we were doing here in Biarritz and what our ultimate mission here was. The woman yearned for God and His love and told them how her family thought she was crazy for wanting to believe...they continued to talk for awhile and the student gave the woman his copy of ITRYG. She offered to pay several times not realizing how much more God wants to give her, the student denied payment, but extended an invite to come and hangout...as this woman was leaving one of the female students said, "You know, this wasn't a coincidence that you met us here today." to which she replied, "I know, because on my way here, I asked God to show himself to me today." It was really beautiful.

The second being when we did evangelism at the beach. One of the girls asked a woman if she could share her testimony and the woman agreed. As the girl told her testimony the woman began to cry and they prayed together. God is moving, His power is beyond everything and without compare. I just...cannot begin to explain what He is doing here!

We have a book report due Monday over Is That Really You, God? which is the story of how YWAM began and the vision, the love, the everything that went into what it is now. The book definitely changed my life...just reading what God had done in these people's lives! It just really opened me up to who God is and the point He is trying to get across to me...so, I see prayer differently, I see trusting Him differently, I see parts of my calling differently. The book really is going to help me further my submission to God's will!

So now I face decisions, I have things in front of me that must be taken care of, and I have things to confess and people to whom I need to apologize for a series of things.

I must ask that God gives me faith and reassurance to seek Him and not His creations, to truly understand how marvelous He is and that nothing is beyond His grasp, that financial obligations are nothing to Him and that you must trust in His deliverance to truly understand His grace.

Just gotta keep my eyes on the Creator and praise Him and not the things created which I find myself doing too much of.

IN MY LIFE, BE LIFTED HIGH

I'm finding myself more annoyed with who I am, people and their priorities, sick distortions of what abundant life looks like. "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."-Mt 9:37. There's a ton of frustration with the 20 years I've lived, 5 of them being a Christian, all of them being a blind fool. I just, can't...live like that anymore. I've seen so much darkness that blankets this place...what have I been doing all these years???

Life has no meaning if it does not honor God.
Society does not dictate God.
My peers do not dictate God.
Nothing overcomes Him, there is not one place He looks on this earth and does not say mine.
We are such small creations trying to define something bigger than we could ever imagine.
To look at the ocean and say nothing exists is pure ignorance.
To attempt to control your own life or get past God is ridiculous.

And so long have I lived in this ignorance.
*How I've been living and how I should be living is all over the Bible: men will stop listening to sound doctrine (2 Tim 4:3), equality with God is not attainable (Philippians 2:6), show mercy for those who doubt (Jude 22-23), be willing to serve and be an example to the flock (1 Peter 5:2-4)

I control my life, I'll have an internship, I'll do all these things and make x amount of dollars in the hopes that one day I will look at my life and be happy with who I am. Maybe one day my family will be proud of me. All this to just feed the world's obsession with what I should be...which is everything but happy.

Am I to live my life, make money, obtain the 'American Dream', and then die and nothing happens?
To think primordial soup happened and thus the beauty of the world was formed.

My mind cannot fathom it.

Now that I'm here serving God...working the harvest..and I hear people say, "That doesn't sound fun," or things like, "I'm so heartbroken that you aren't here." Why?

For your own selfish reasons? Because you have your own agenda to attend to as if the Creator of the Universe doesn't already have a plan for your life? Jer 29:11

I have no idea what the future holds, but the truth in that is this: I've never known.
I didn't know when I was in high school, I didn't know when I was in college.
And I don't know now. It has been and will forever be a mystery.
Here's what I do know..only now have I ever been completely in God's will.

Because, for once, I am so at peace.

Second Week, Morning Phase 1

I wanted to share a few notes from lecture this morning:

Whatever you give up, God will give you back 100% fold.

When God reveals, you make it happen right then and there.

If you want to be like God, you've got to take Him seriously.

More than a thousand years ago we go the name Christians, because we looked like Christ.

In your behavior, reflect God.

From the beginning, God has wanted us to be His presentation, His hands and feet, to the world.

A Christian who willfully disobeys God prevents others from entering into the Kingdom.

People and society are not the standard.

Sin is a righteous need fulfilled in an unrighteous way.

--Until you believe that God is good then you will not live fully in His will.

No more wrestling and no more fighting, God. Je t'appartiens. I belong to you.

I'm proud of who God is building me up to be. Such hope that He is instilling very deep inside of me to know His will and to hear His heartbeat, it's beautiful. 

I will post again soon, things are going so well here! Love you all!

Also, the link to give/donate money is on the right :)

Bienvenue a Biarritz!

Bonjour from France!

My journey to make Jesus famous began on Sunday afternoon at 12pm! My trip started on the right track by running into an old, but dear friend who was on the same connecting flight to Chicago. What a wonderful surprise and blessing from the Lord. We grabbed lunch at O’Hare and then bid adieu when his flight began to board at 4pm. Around 5pm I boarded the plane on what would be a very interesting next 8 or so hours. You know what’s interesting about the flight to France? There are a ton of French people on it, but also quite a few American students headed to study abroad! It was a fun experience and I really enjoyed the head start on acclimating to 24/7 French being spoken.  The layover in Paris hasn’t been too bad, I’ve been here 4 hours and have another 4 hours to go..at one point, I considered riding the TGV into Biarritz, but they take American credit cards, but not American dollars and to my surprise I couldn’t find my wallet containing important documents and my credit cards…so, no train for me. No worries, I did indeed find my wallet…at the bottom of my 50 pound suitcase, safely secured so it wouldn’t fall out. Even if I had gotten on the train two things would have happened: 1) I wouldn’t have gotten my deposit back and 2) I would have had to rush to the 11 am train or had to have waited for the 2pm train which would have gotten me there later! So, praise Jesus for not letting either of those work out. I then proceeded to change out of my jeans/oversized sweater combo into a dress and boots so I could look like the French people! 

I just met a girl named Delphine who speaks great English! I may get out of 24/7 French after all :p HA! I better be fluent or close to it in a few months! I just realized that since I don’t have the internet right now that when I update this I will be in Biarritz already…haha! Anyhow, Delphine says that Biarritz is quiet in the winter, but a beautiful location J

I’m getting sleepy! Got to hang in there though so none of my things get snatched! So far I think I will really miss tweeting, there are so many things I’ve wanted to share already…like the fact that I am so blessed to be here and ready to do the Will of Him who sent me, but that I am so eerily calm it is starting to scare even me!

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SUPER COOL JESUS MOMENT!

Today I was on the plane to Biarritz wondering what God was going to do with me here and even knowing that this is His will I couldn't help but think "But how is it going to work?" and tonight the husband from the missionary couple that spoke to us was talking about how his wife was called by God to make French Christian music and she didn't even speak French at the time, but soon after she published the book it became the top sold Christian music book in all of France. Then her husband goes on to say, "She came to him [God] with her 5 loaves and 2 fish and he multiplied all she had given." And I just felt the Spirit say, "That's you. Give Him all you've got and He will multiply it."

With that, the first day has been quite a success and bonne nuit (goodnight).

I live in Christ, that's why I shine so bright!

What scares people about me picking up and going to be a missionary is because almost no one listens to God and just does what He asks. It is always, "I wish I could do that, but I have all these scholarships," or "God, right now isn't really good for me." I mean, really? I'm so happy Jesus didn't say that! Anyway, I have always told God, "not now." Whether that means that everyone turns their back on me, God has me in His breast and will not let me go. There is no fear in that. :)

The Bible is extremely clear that my life is not my own, but that I was created  to be a living example of who Christ is, to expedite the gospel to the nations, to love, and to further His kingdom. For me to live is Christ and to die is gain! So no worries, the hand of God is upon me, and He will not lead those who seek Him into trouble. He goes before me, with me, and He will be here to calm those behind me.

So, if God is telling you to do something or if you're reading a story about someone who is answering God's call and you say, "I wish I could do something like that," you need to know that you can and if it is God's will then He will take you through it fully.

Thank YOU for all that You have done for me, in me, and through me and all that is coming, I trust fully in Your plan. Amen.

PASSION 2012: When God has a completely different plan than you

As it is, January 2012 is the second semester of my sophomore year at Oklahoma State! :) I had filled out my application to study abroad in the fall, I had purchased my books, was excited for my classes, planning to go on mission trips to Uganda and Israel, applied to work for Google as in intern, when that was done I would fly to London and spend a week, and then fly to France to begin coursework for an academic year! I wanted to go to Oktoberfest in Germany, Semana Santa in Spain, paraglide in the Alps, experience outdoor markets on a grand scale, and then when I finished school in June I planned to either stay and travel more or to apply for internships in France and Spain.

This was the complete plan for the next 18 months of my life until January 5th.

When I went to Passion, I was spiritually dead. Apathetic and uncaring, comfortable and complacent, and just so distant in trusting God and having faith in Him. I always believed, but it was not genuine last semester. I went to Bible study, praise service, worked in the nursery...but I wasn't being spiritually fed and I think that is partly because I worked in the nursery during the sermon. I can say that truly I believed I was on the path to Hell because I had no faith in God's word even though I know it is real. So, I'm going to directly copy my entries from the journal I kept at Passion. Anything I have written in, not from my journal, I will clarify.


January 2: Louie Giglio speaks on first night


"You are NOT here by accident. Do not believe the lie Satan is trying to tell you."


Luke 7:11-14
Jesus stops a funeral procession in Nain, touches the stretcher with the dead body on it and says, "Rise up."
Louie said that maybe we think our sins are too much, that we are too far gone, but every day is washed away in grace. Louie also said that being here, for some of us, this was our funeral procession. We came to Passion spiritually dead. And Jesus right now was saying "Rise up" in the middle of our funeral procession.


He then asked people to stand if God they had been in their funeral procession tonight and if that was their life God was NOT going to let that happen. So, I stood. It felt good to be honest.


At the beginning of the night you know I was in tears, but as it went on I became closed and hardened to it, then I was saying to myself, "Why am I here? This was a mistake." And then God, you used Louie to speak to me and answer the very questions I was asking. You answered me like you so clearly do always.


Also, I need you to allow me to understand grace because I hear that you love me and yet I do not understand that.


Jan 3: Beth Moore, morning session


Luke 8: 40-55
v47--> she could not go unnoticed
We are not hidden before Him in this place; God knew the greatest need we have is something private. 


We are as sick as our secrets
-addiction
-habit


Mark 5v28
You cannot be unclean enough to mess Jesus up (*For clarification, Luke 8:40-55 tells the story of a very sick woman who touched the cloak of Jesus. If she touched anyone she could have spread her disease, but Jesus is so incredibly powerful that she touched Him and he HEALED her.)


Our need for healing and wholeness is deep in our marrow. He knows what kind of man or woman you are. As long as you feel unclean, you will not seek Him fully.


Jan 3: Christine Caine, afternoon session


Freedom is the goal of Christianity.
Light is most effective in the darkness.


"My daughter continued to beg me for a Barbie flashlight so one night we went to Wal-Mart and as we were checking out my daughter turned the flashlight on. She said to me, 'Mummy, there's too much light. Can we go find some darkness?' and I thought to myself my daughter's had a revelation at [3 years old].


What are you so afraid of? As if the point of life is to arrive at death safely?


Speaking on human sexual trafficking
Numbers are numbing.
Numbers are dehumanizing.
Numbers are desensitizing.
That's why 27 million sounds so distant.
Luke 10:30
"..the Samaritan had compassion so he went."
Compassion is not compassion until your life is interrupted, until you're willing to have your life stopped.


We have been saved by grace FOR A PURPOSE


It is by [God's] grace though faith in [Jesus Christ] that my soul has been saved.


Jan 3: Francis Chan, evening session


Do I know the word of God?
No.
Or do I just trust people?
Do I truly believe what this book, the Bible, says?
No.
my justification?
-I have time to figure it out
-Not now
-I've been blinded by greed,lust
-I have no faith


WHERE IS IT?
Where is my faith?
You answer me everytime
CHANGE MY HEART
MAKE ME GO --MAKE ME!


1 Samuel 13
1 Samuel 14


People say God doesn't work like that anymore-I think they are all lying! I trust YOU!
You are calling me
Pulling on my heart strings
They don't need me in a semester--they need me now
You say do something-I'm going to do it
I half believe myself.
God place ALL the opportunity and resources before me to GO. NOTHING I have is important. AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!


I am writing this in real time: **On this night, during praise and worship, after the sermon, I repented of my sins. I was SCREAMING out to God amongst 45,000 other believers lifting Him up in praise asking Him to take me back, apologizing for being apathetic, no more tattoos, no more cursing, no more no more no more, God please forgive me for drinking, forgive me for sex, forgive me for all these things that I have done against you, for going against your Word. Tears are streaming down my face and for the FIRST time in 5 years I felt overwhelming grace enter into me! Just like when I was saved. He answered me.


And then Louie asked, if God ended your funeral procession, stand up. I did, balling and completely redeemed standing new and tucked into the breast of my Father in Heaven!


January 4: John Piper, evening session


Main Pt.
Being satisfied w/All that God is for you through Jesus frees you from the slavery of sin for the sacrifices of love.
*Savor the supremacy of Jesus


God loves it when you, in your soul, are savoring Him; when that happens you outwardly show your freedom. God did not come to be unseen. 


*"Before you trusted God, you weren't unchurced. You were dead. You didn't need church, you needed to be raised from the dead."-Louie Giglio


Seeing/savoring and trusting God are the same thing.


1. Equivalency
John 6:35
-never hunger (coming)
-never thirst (believing)


Only way to please God is through believing.


Faith is a desperate, needy, child-like dependency.


I thought I could just decide the Devil or God; sinner or saint.
Faith is > than that.


2 Kinds of People in the World
slaves of sin
slaves of righteousness
The more satisfied you are in Jesus, the more free you are.


2. Supremacy of Jesus
The supremacy of his deity, his eternality, his knowledge, his power, his trustworthiness (cleans lepers, walks on water, cause the dead to rise), his justice, his patience, his Sovereign, servant obedience. 
"God's knowledge makes the library of Congress look like a matchbox."


Supremacy of His wrath, His grace, His love, his inexhaustible gladness.


At the heart and origin of the universe is the gladness of God.


There is not a square inch on planet earth where Jesus Christ doesn't say MINE.


3. Seeking/Savoring
2 Cor 3v18
Heb 10v39


Thank You, God


This is not about how much debt you're in, how much money you apid. This is about how much he paid for your sins, how much he gave so you would love Him. How much He gave ME
He gave me, He gives me, He supports me, He loves me.


Personal thoughts headed to the Dome on Jan 5:
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have always imagined. -thoreau
God answered: Jan 5
I obeyed:


God answered: Jan 5
I obeyed:
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. -Neale Donald Walsch


Ephesians 3:14-22


Jan 5: Louie Giglio, last session/closing
"They are in a place of holy mystery. God is among them. *You don't need to wait to participate in the plans of God! The are right NOW.


Ch 6; Ephesians
v19
Pray also for me that words may be given me so that I may fearlessly make know the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I declare it fearlessly as I should.


my words: I'm leaving with nothing, but I have nothing without Christ.


Louie Giglio: 
It's time for you to ARISE.
You can still party, but it's going to be a different party.
From the bow of brokenness, launches the arrow of healing.


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In 3 days time, Jesus Christ changed my life!!!
On January 4, I e-mailed a church and YWAM telling them I wanted to get involved with their ministry and that I would be moving to work in the mission field at the end of January.


YWAM answered and offered me a spot in their program.
In the last 4 days God has COMPLETELY changed my life!
I prayed that I would be faithful for His provision, I prayed that He would give me confidence, and I prayed against all the negativity that I would hear. And He has answered with a RESOUNDING, "YES" to everything.


I move to France on Sunday, January 15th.
I have no idea what the future holds, but guess what? God does.
And regardless of my plans for my life...they will never overrule God's plan for my life. Not ever.


I have withdrawn from school.
I book my flight tomorrow.


Here's what I love about completely following Jesus.
In Psalm 119:105,
"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."
God is the lamp, the world is the darkness. By trusting God, you can only see enough to take the next step into the world and following Jesus continues like that! So, I've been taking my steps and He's been protecting me through His grace.


I am completely faithful, completely confident, and completely immersed in blessings and grace. Thank you Christ, thank you Father. There is a poster that my roommate hung in our living room the day before I returned, it says, "The Will of God will not take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."


Incredibly true.


My family has showed distaste for the decision asking why I can't stay in school, saying that I am pretending to hide behind God, asking why I am really going, and with no disrespect at all...I realize that this is not everyone's call, but I know without doubt that it is mine.


God has been providing people who support this cause! ALL OF THE PRAYERS GOING BEFORE ME AND WITH ME! ALL of the financial support that only GOD has been preparing on the hearts of people! ONLY GOD! My SAVIOR, MY REDEEMER, MY KING.


If you are praying for me, please let me know by commenting here or on Facebook! If you would like to give I will tell you how! But more than anything, the Word of God is upon us and moving and it is time to rise up!!!


To God be the glory, for ever and ever amen. :)