new traditions.

We spent our day preparing ham, mashed potatoes, and stuffing. For dessert, apple cider (with butterscotch schnapps), apple pie crumble, and vanilla ice cream. Ethan put on National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - which was my first time and then I showed him The Last Holiday - his first time.

A Fortified City, an Iron Pillar, a Bronze Wall

I haven't updated in almost a full 4 months! ...oops! A lot has been happening and all to the glory of God. I came home from my DTS and drowned in reverse culture shock, struggling to be back in my "home" with no one who understood where I was coming from, and a lot of confusion on what exactly was coming in this new season. I've always described my walk with God using Psalm 119:105, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path," and I imagine myself standing in a forest so black that it's dense and on my own I have no direction or idea of how to go forward, but God is my lamp and the light shines in the direction I'm supposed to be going just enough for me to take 1 step. After I've taken that step, the lamp continues to show me step by step and it is only with complete faith that I follow the light.

Community

I had been praying to find friends who loved Jesus for what seemed like forever and I hadn't been finding it. I've been finding people who are verbally saying they love Jesus but denying Him by their actions, or people who don't know Him, and those people are good friends but I've definitely needed solid believers to pour into me and pour into. But God can use ANYONE! I met my friend Danielle through one of my roommates who is not a believer. Danielle gets it. She totally sees the glory, understands the urgency, and seeks the fullness of Christ. We've been having some deep conversations about the Lord and His glory and His plan and the coming of His Kingdom...it goes on and on, just like His faithfulness! Because of my deep friendship with her I've been introduced to her group of friends who live in a house run by their church; it's been day and night having community with these kids! I've just been incredibly blessed and it is so worth the frustration and struggle then to have this now.

YOUR LOVE NEVER FAILS.

My every move bring glory to your name!

I will follow you, NO turning back.

Had an incredible night giving praise to JESUS CHRIST!

A Father to the fatherless, strength to the weak, rest for the restless. You are my everything.

Are you free? Are you full of joy? Does your life have a purpose? With Jesus all of those things are true.

I'm not talking rules and regulations, I mean true love that is relational.

Matthew 7.21, live and breathe it, let the Lord in. 

He is faithful, never lies, and always provides.

7 more days!

Yesterday, we went to Spain as a day trip and it was amazing! I explored by myself and hiked a very tall mountain to get to a statue of Jesus, which was so much fun. 

In one week, we go to Paris to have lectures and meet the other French DTS groups from Lyon and Paris which will be super exciting. After that we're headed to London for 7 weeks and then we return to Paris for 4 weeks.

Still needing money for Outreach so if you see read this, definitely be praying for that! If you would like to help out by making a donation, then just Click this link :)

Annnnnnd, pictures from Spain this weekend!

Right off the beach in Spain, pretty buildings everywhere

A statue of Jesus, this is when I decided I had to go up there

Dancing along with the marching band

Street performers

A clock, still can't figure it out

Precious kids, had to snap a photo!

Lots of boats!

One of the doors to the building where the giant Jesus statue was

A massive statue of a Divine Man who died for me

What a beautiful church, it's just a little over the top!

Team Photo, almost..we'll get one with every-Juan in Paris

P.S.---blog URL will be CHANGING in one week to "keepupwithkortnee.blogspot.com"

I'm in love.

I think that maybe things are taken away from us so that we can realize their true worth. That we can grow and focus our true desires in God, to be a true woman of God's word, and to give love that exceeds and knows no bounds...why? Because that is the love that He showed me. Before you can love someone, you must love the One. God is the only true love there is, the only unfailing love, the only pure love there is.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we would be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him." 1 John 3:1

Falling into joy, I'm falling into revelation
I praise the God of a self righteous generation
I'm running to the dark to shine Your light
There's life in the day, but there's death in the night

How great the love the Father has lavished on us
It didn't know You so it doesn't know us
I was called a child of God
Before I knew that's what I was
-Thank you for choosing me Jesus.

I'm in love, I'm in awe, I'm abandoned to Your will.
I give it all to you, everything that I am.
And I love telling people how much Jesus loves them.
So as you read this, know that Jesus loves you and so do I.

Here's some specific prayer requests,
last week on Wednesday during Evangelism we met this girl who was just here visiting. You can pray for her, she knows and believes some of the truths about Jesus, but not all of it. She is an amazing girl and Kelsey and I had an amazing time getting to know her and explore our city with her. <3

Also, I still need to raise $4,000 for my outreach in 4 weeks. Definitely be praying over that, I need some serious prayer warriors! And if you would like to make a donation the button is on the left :)

May the God of the Universe bless you. If you need prayer, please feel free to e-mail me or comment here :)

Love,
Kortnee

lukewarm love.

What do your extracurricular activities look 

like? A life set on God will yield fruit. 

Study of the Bible, yielding to His will, and 

serving as He commands. A life that is 

serving as He commands. A life that is

inward focused looks as self serving

activities: putting things you want first!

Whether your addiction is working out,

partying, or Facebook; whether your idols

are your friends, your things, or celebrities--

you are not focused on God. I am either

your everything or I am your nothing at all.

God doesn't want half of your heart, half of your

life, because He gave Jesus as your whole atonement

1 Corinthians 3:2 says by now we should

be eating solid food, but we are still drinking

milk; In Revelation 3:16, God says that 

if you are lukewarm he will spit you out of

His mouth, that he prefers you to be either for

Him or against Him. God is merciful, full

of grace, but He is just and there is a season

in your life where you have to grow up.

This morning's lecture basically wrecked my heart for Jesus, yet again. I've got to hate not just the things that are easy to hate, but also the things that are hard to hate and are accepted in our culture. Gossip, abortion, tattoos, piercings, jewelry.

**But, more than that I need to not confuse hate for sin as hatred of sinners.**

Keep your friendships, but hate sin.

Find a different environment to be around.

Call me if you want to watch football, call if you want to go to dinner, even to see a movie, but don't call me to come out and party because I will say no. Call me if you're drunk at 3 AM and need a ride, but don't call me to party, because I don't live that life anymore.

If you can be around it, then you don't hate it!

I hate clowns so you aren't going to find me around them, I hate Raclette cheese so you aren't going to find me eating it. You don't willingly decide to be around the things that you hate.

master. mission. mate.

1 john 2:15

"Do not love the world or anything in the world."

I know that my master is God. "...I chose you..." [John 15:16]

I know that my mission is to "suffer according to God's will..commit [myself] to the faithful Creator and continue to do good." [1 Peter 4:12-19]

And as far as the mate, it is clear that my heart does not desire that. [Matthew 19:9-12]

Jesus warns about it, God warns about it, the disciples warn about it, and now I am warning you about it. Do not be complacent and do not accept the watered down Gospel, because at judgement He will not be a watered down God. You are responsible for the truth that you know.

live it out.

you won't relent until you have it all.

I have started three different entries for this week and I am just now finally sitting down to really write it.

"I'll set you as a seal upon my heart, as a seal upon my arm"
There is no where that God looks and does not proclaim it as His.
I don't want to talk about you like you're not in the room. I want to look right at you, I want to sing right to you.
You won't relent until you have it all, my heart is yours.

I thank you, God, for being a God who does not relent. Who continues to pursue us, those He loves and cherishes. Wednesday, God released me from 17 years of oppression. I began to realize and understand the vastness and greatness of God's kingdom. He has always watched my soul, protected it, saved me from peril. I just serve an A-W-E-S-O-M-E God!

This week's speaker and I got to talking when he decided to help me wash dishes and I told him all about my life and he asked, "Have you had one person in your life who has been a positive constant?" and the answer is no. The look on his face was a mix: somewhere between sheer disbelief and deep sorrow, but for me it was the beginning of the second breakthrough of being here.

The first layer was repentance right before I came and when I got here, forgiveness.
This week, I learned about renouncing. Renouncing the enemy in your life, renouncing the stepping stones you give him to your heart, and truly letting those things go.

I have been holding on to 17 years of demonic oppression. Whether it was bitterness, anger, distrust, I mean there was a host of things. The enemy convincing me that I needed to be alone, to withdraw from people because they didn't like me, to have no faith in people. It's crazy what you let Satan do, how you yield your ways to him, and all the time your doubt grows in God's goodness.

It's crazy.

So, I've been released from that and PRAISE GOD.
Man, just praise God.
I wish I could have caught on film the presence of our good and gracious God this morning during worship. The Spirit will overwhelm and overflow your soul with thanksgiving and praise and that is just what He did this morning! Man, my brothers and sisters...just wow. Words are inadequate at His greatness.

Financially, I'm not there yet but God has his timing. The cost for the program and the outreach is 4000 euros and I'm confident in the Lord. So, I stand with arms high and heart abandoned...in awe of my Savior.

Please pray for my family.
Pray that God starts to peel back and release them from the hardness of their hearts, it's tough for them.
Pray Matthew 6:24 over them.
For this spirit of materialism to be bound and broken over their lives.

Pictures soon.
Sorry it isn't a very long update.
Je promis que prochain semaine sera mieux!

Is That Really You, GOD?

God is consistently wrecking me for His words, to speak life into His lost lambs.
Two instances of people yearning for Jesus:

Earlier this week we found out that 2 of the rooms in the house had bed bugs. This spurred those two rooms having to do laundry at the public laundromat for about 7 hours. A few students took their books, Is That Really You God or ITRYG, to read while they washed. While they were there they began to talk to an English-speaking woman who was really interested in the book and what it was about. One of the students began to tell her it was about hearing the voice of God and the start of YWAM. Of course this led to questions about what YWAM was and the student was able to share what we were doing here in Biarritz and what our ultimate mission here was. The woman yearned for God and His love and told them how her family thought she was crazy for wanting to believe...they continued to talk for awhile and the student gave the woman his copy of ITRYG. She offered to pay several times not realizing how much more God wants to give her, the student denied payment, but extended an invite to come and hangout...as this woman was leaving one of the female students said, "You know, this wasn't a coincidence that you met us here today." to which she replied, "I know, because on my way here, I asked God to show himself to me today." It was really beautiful.

The second being when we did evangelism at the beach. One of the girls asked a woman if she could share her testimony and the woman agreed. As the girl told her testimony the woman began to cry and they prayed together. God is moving, His power is beyond everything and without compare. I just...cannot begin to explain what He is doing here!

We have a book report due Monday over Is That Really You, God? which is the story of how YWAM began and the vision, the love, the everything that went into what it is now. The book definitely changed my life...just reading what God had done in these people's lives! It just really opened me up to who God is and the point He is trying to get across to me...so, I see prayer differently, I see trusting Him differently, I see parts of my calling differently. The book really is going to help me further my submission to God's will!

So now I face decisions, I have things in front of me that must be taken care of, and I have things to confess and people to whom I need to apologize for a series of things.

I must ask that God gives me faith and reassurance to seek Him and not His creations, to truly understand how marvelous He is and that nothing is beyond His grasp, that financial obligations are nothing to Him and that you must trust in His deliverance to truly understand His grace.

Just gotta keep my eyes on the Creator and praise Him and not the things created which I find myself doing too much of.

IN MY LIFE, BE LIFTED HIGH

I'm finding myself more annoyed with who I am, people and their priorities, sick distortions of what abundant life looks like. "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."-Mt 9:37. There's a ton of frustration with the 20 years I've lived, 5 of them being a Christian, all of them being a blind fool. I just, can't...live like that anymore. I've seen so much darkness that blankets this place...what have I been doing all these years???

Life has no meaning if it does not honor God.
Society does not dictate God.
My peers do not dictate God.
Nothing overcomes Him, there is not one place He looks on this earth and does not say mine.
We are such small creations trying to define something bigger than we could ever imagine.
To look at the ocean and say nothing exists is pure ignorance.
To attempt to control your own life or get past God is ridiculous.

And so long have I lived in this ignorance.
*How I've been living and how I should be living is all over the Bible: men will stop listening to sound doctrine (2 Tim 4:3), equality with God is not attainable (Philippians 2:6), show mercy for those who doubt (Jude 22-23), be willing to serve and be an example to the flock (1 Peter 5:2-4)

I control my life, I'll have an internship, I'll do all these things and make x amount of dollars in the hopes that one day I will look at my life and be happy with who I am. Maybe one day my family will be proud of me. All this to just feed the world's obsession with what I should be...which is everything but happy.

Am I to live my life, make money, obtain the 'American Dream', and then die and nothing happens?
To think primordial soup happened and thus the beauty of the world was formed.

My mind cannot fathom it.

Now that I'm here serving God...working the harvest..and I hear people say, "That doesn't sound fun," or things like, "I'm so heartbroken that you aren't here." Why?

For your own selfish reasons? Because you have your own agenda to attend to as if the Creator of the Universe doesn't already have a plan for your life? Jer 29:11

I have no idea what the future holds, but the truth in that is this: I've never known.
I didn't know when I was in high school, I didn't know when I was in college.
And I don't know now. It has been and will forever be a mystery.
Here's what I do know..only now have I ever been completely in God's will.

Because, for once, I am so at peace.