you ARE a sinner.

Recently, I've been going through hell with people in my life. Not my friends..no, they're great. With people who think that "because I know you I understand you and I'm therefore entitled to give you my opinion on everything."

I've been on this since my DTS. If I tell you something - that doesn't make us close. It doesn't make us friends. My story is a story of redemption everyday - my story isn't a secret - but my story, especially the past, doesn't define who I am at this very moment. It adds to who I am, but it isn't completely who I am.

So if you know about my mother's murder and that I grew up in a dysfunctional home that doesn't mean that you understand me or that you're my friend. It means that you know a fact about my life.

I am a sinner.

An Audience of One

I, Kortnee Barnes, will not promise BUT will try to be a more consistent blogger! I really want to talk about India and all that the Lord is revealing to me but first I'm going to let you into some struggle and growth I've been going through. So, in the last post I told you that God had answered some HUGE prayers, and He did...I, however, did not use His answers to their full capability and have since been struggling with my role, my relationships, my reality, my faith that God is still near to me..and that was a struggle that has left my heart in a very fragile place with Jesus. Thankfully, I am still with Jesus and no longer wandering about trying to fix myself.

What the Lord is teaching me, Part 1

I am capable of all that He has asked me to do. That faith is not only believing He will but also that only because of Him, I can.

God requires all of who I am.

And He can have it.

I am so tired of even attempting what others want me to be because it's such a filthy, cheap version of what I'm supposed to be in Christ. Any time we try to become other than what God has said we are, we're jilting ourselves, and we're telling God "I'll do this my way because the way you made me isn't good enough."

A Fortified City, an Iron Pillar, a Bronze Wall

I haven't updated in almost a full 4 months! ...oops! A lot has been happening and all to the glory of God. I came home from my DTS and drowned in reverse culture shock, struggling to be back in my "home" with no one who understood where I was coming from, and a lot of confusion on what exactly was coming in this new season. I've always described my walk with God using Psalm 119:105, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path," and I imagine myself standing in a forest so black that it's dense and on my own I have no direction or idea of how to go forward, but God is my lamp and the light shines in the direction I'm supposed to be going just enough for me to take 1 step. After I've taken that step, the lamp continues to show me step by step and it is only with complete faith that I follow the light.

Community

I had been praying to find friends who loved Jesus for what seemed like forever and I hadn't been finding it. I've been finding people who are verbally saying they love Jesus but denying Him by their actions, or people who don't know Him, and those people are good friends but I've definitely needed solid believers to pour into me and pour into. But God can use ANYONE! I met my friend Danielle through one of my roommates who is not a believer. Danielle gets it. She totally sees the glory, understands the urgency, and seeks the fullness of Christ. We've been having some deep conversations about the Lord and His glory and His plan and the coming of His Kingdom...it goes on and on, just like His faithfulness! Because of my deep friendship with her I've been introduced to her group of friends who live in a house run by their church; it's been day and night having community with these kids! I've just been incredibly blessed and it is so worth the frustration and struggle then to have this now.

YOUR LOVE NEVER FAILS.

My every move bring glory to your name!

I will follow you, NO turning back.

Had an incredible night giving praise to JESUS CHRIST!

A Father to the fatherless, strength to the weak, rest for the restless. You are my everything.

Are you free? Are you full of joy? Does your life have a purpose? With Jesus all of those things are true.

I'm not talking rules and regulations, I mean true love that is relational.

Matthew 7.21, live and breathe it, let the Lord in. 

He is faithful, never lies, and always provides.

I Don't Want to Go Through the Motions

Sitting on the floor with my things scattered around me I began to write, thoughts flowing from pen to paper ever so naturally, lyrics drilling to the core of my soul:


"I don't want to go through the motions, I don't want to spend one more day without your all consuming passion inside of me. I don't want to spend my whole life asking, 'What if I had given everything instead of going through the motions?'"

I titled my journal that I didn't want to go through the motions and I mean that I want to be eager about the Gospel, I want to make Jesus famous, I want to fearlessly make known the mystery of the Gospel.

Little did I know that the Lord would really give me that chance through a woman named Kathy from Ireland. We began talking when the pug she was dog sitting, Pepper, ran up to me and started playing. I was able to share my testimony with her and really tell her the truth of Jesus Christ. She was raised Catholic so we talked of Purgatory, death, and what a life living after Jesus looks like. It was a truly divine appointment and the Holy Spirit was with me, bless the Lord. Nearing the end of our conversation, she told me that she had really been closed to God even though she attended church regularly and that maybe now was the time to be open to what He has for her. I was able to share about 'mountaintops' and how coming down from the mountain is the hardest because that is when Satan attacks you and she said, "Wow, it's crazy that you just said that because that is where I struggle." It was really cool to see the Lord work today.

Then, I got so blessed right before leaving. I was hanging out with the nannies, as there are many here in London, and I was playing catch with the dogs that one of the nannies is in charge of, and I hit this guy sitting on a bench. So, I ran to go and apologize and that started a conversation and I find out that my new friend is leaving for South Africa tomorrow, Thursday, to be a volunteer worker with human rights and he's only been here for 2 days. It was just cool being able to have him for dinner and sharing love and laughter with him. He told us it was his, "best memory in London."

My life is just really cool, I constantly see that Jesus is so mighty a King, and I am so blessed. Words are not enough, bless the name of the Lord!

Some other things that have been going on are how God has been working on me relationally, how He is shaping my future to serve Him, and how to love and be loved and to be honest and real about love. It's an interesting set of lessons.

And, I don't have the energy to blog about the whole thing but let's just say India 2014 ;)

goodnight & love from London,
KB

you won't relent until you have it all.

I have started three different entries for this week and I am just now finally sitting down to really write it.

"I'll set you as a seal upon my heart, as a seal upon my arm"
There is no where that God looks and does not proclaim it as His.
I don't want to talk about you like you're not in the room. I want to look right at you, I want to sing right to you.
You won't relent until you have it all, my heart is yours.

I thank you, God, for being a God who does not relent. Who continues to pursue us, those He loves and cherishes. Wednesday, God released me from 17 years of oppression. I began to realize and understand the vastness and greatness of God's kingdom. He has always watched my soul, protected it, saved me from peril. I just serve an A-W-E-S-O-M-E God!

This week's speaker and I got to talking when he decided to help me wash dishes and I told him all about my life and he asked, "Have you had one person in your life who has been a positive constant?" and the answer is no. The look on his face was a mix: somewhere between sheer disbelief and deep sorrow, but for me it was the beginning of the second breakthrough of being here.

The first layer was repentance right before I came and when I got here, forgiveness.
This week, I learned about renouncing. Renouncing the enemy in your life, renouncing the stepping stones you give him to your heart, and truly letting those things go.

I have been holding on to 17 years of demonic oppression. Whether it was bitterness, anger, distrust, I mean there was a host of things. The enemy convincing me that I needed to be alone, to withdraw from people because they didn't like me, to have no faith in people. It's crazy what you let Satan do, how you yield your ways to him, and all the time your doubt grows in God's goodness.

It's crazy.

So, I've been released from that and PRAISE GOD.
Man, just praise God.
I wish I could have caught on film the presence of our good and gracious God this morning during worship. The Spirit will overwhelm and overflow your soul with thanksgiving and praise and that is just what He did this morning! Man, my brothers and sisters...just wow. Words are inadequate at His greatness.

Financially, I'm not there yet but God has his timing. The cost for the program and the outreach is 4000 euros and I'm confident in the Lord. So, I stand with arms high and heart abandoned...in awe of my Savior.

Please pray for my family.
Pray that God starts to peel back and release them from the hardness of their hearts, it's tough for them.
Pray Matthew 6:24 over them.
For this spirit of materialism to be bound and broken over their lives.

Pictures soon.
Sorry it isn't a very long update.
Je promis que prochain semaine sera mieux!

Child, you're forgiven and loved.

Topic: Repentance & Forgiveness
Speaker: Shirley Brownhill

This week our speaker is truly annointed by the blood of Christ.

I began to write as I listened to 'Forgiven & Loved' by Jimmy Needham:

"Dirty deeds have done me in, 

but that won't stop the faithful friend. 

Giving mercy once again as you Heal, 

here it is I'm feeling it...

Oh He died, He died to rectify my hopeless situation 

and His blood commands my guilt to leave. 

Now on Calvary I stand, 

empty pockets, open hands. 

Oh there is no condemnation for me. 

I tried and tried to rectify my hopeless situation, 

but I bought the lie I still have work to do. 

Now, I'm working 9 to 5 like I can earn my own salvation,

but there is no condemnation in you. 

Child, you're forgiven and loved."

How perfect is my Savior that He gives to me His surplus of grace and mercy as I need it. I began to write and as I thought of what the Spirit had spoken to me so far in the week, I selected a song at random, but not at all random to our God. Just a cool beginning to open up this post.

So we're talking about forgiveness and repentance this week and I have much to be forgiven of, but more than that I have so much to forgive. I have harbored anger, doubt, failure, depression, stress, and all sorts of things in my spirit and it has trapped my soul from being able to fully come to God and receive His mercy.

So, I'm going to share some notes of mine:

Remember when God was your everything? When you cried out for him and He came to you? Remember when you were available and vulnerable to Him?

You have been created to have relationship with God and anything else is deception.

Sometimes Christians say, "It's okay to do that sin," and it's not because it separates you from the Savior.

We are so bound by our cultures that we are ashamed by the Gospel.

The world doesn't need pity, it needs Jesus.

-----*Compassion is not compassion without action.

Illustration:

Everyone drives about 10-20 miles over the speed limit and everyone "goes with the flow" until you see a police officer or radar and you realize that you, individually, are responsible for your decision. 

That is modern Christianity, everyone "goes with the flow" of society, but then there are these moments where they remember Jesus or feel convicted over something and maybe it lasts a while or maybe it lasts forever, but we have all got to realize that Jesus is who we are compared to and not society. We can't just say, "Well...at least I'm not as bad as that guy."

We are not to mock God's grace.

Unforgiveness ties and binds you to the person that has hurt you.

We cannot translate the Word of God into something more comfortable for us.
A person who knows God looks at their circumstances through God.
Hypocrite-someone who knows the truth, but doesn't live it.
With repentance we should ask what has my sin done in advancing Satan's kingdom?
God feels broken hearted over sin.
Sin is eager to control you.
Pressure is there because you're doing what God wants you to do.
Something God gave me actually happened.
We can't afford to miss our moments.
If we get conviction and our heart doesn't follow then our heart gets hard.
Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal your heart.
Ask for forgiveness from each person you've been sexually immoral with.
Pray for purity and holiness to be restored.
When you have shame over your life the enemy has control over your life.

Don't forget where you came from. Remember that you were that someone...take the time to think about the Hand that pulled you out. Pray for me.

Is That Really You, GOD?

God is consistently wrecking me for His words, to speak life into His lost lambs.
Two instances of people yearning for Jesus:

Earlier this week we found out that 2 of the rooms in the house had bed bugs. This spurred those two rooms having to do laundry at the public laundromat for about 7 hours. A few students took their books, Is That Really You God or ITRYG, to read while they washed. While they were there they began to talk to an English-speaking woman who was really interested in the book and what it was about. One of the students began to tell her it was about hearing the voice of God and the start of YWAM. Of course this led to questions about what YWAM was and the student was able to share what we were doing here in Biarritz and what our ultimate mission here was. The woman yearned for God and His love and told them how her family thought she was crazy for wanting to believe...they continued to talk for awhile and the student gave the woman his copy of ITRYG. She offered to pay several times not realizing how much more God wants to give her, the student denied payment, but extended an invite to come and hangout...as this woman was leaving one of the female students said, "You know, this wasn't a coincidence that you met us here today." to which she replied, "I know, because on my way here, I asked God to show himself to me today." It was really beautiful.

The second being when we did evangelism at the beach. One of the girls asked a woman if she could share her testimony and the woman agreed. As the girl told her testimony the woman began to cry and they prayed together. God is moving, His power is beyond everything and without compare. I just...cannot begin to explain what He is doing here!

We have a book report due Monday over Is That Really You, God? which is the story of how YWAM began and the vision, the love, the everything that went into what it is now. The book definitely changed my life...just reading what God had done in these people's lives! It just really opened me up to who God is and the point He is trying to get across to me...so, I see prayer differently, I see trusting Him differently, I see parts of my calling differently. The book really is going to help me further my submission to God's will!

So now I face decisions, I have things in front of me that must be taken care of, and I have things to confess and people to whom I need to apologize for a series of things.

I must ask that God gives me faith and reassurance to seek Him and not His creations, to truly understand how marvelous He is and that nothing is beyond His grasp, that financial obligations are nothing to Him and that you must trust in His deliverance to truly understand His grace.

Just gotta keep my eyes on the Creator and praise Him and not the things created which I find myself doing too much of.

Aujourd'hui c'etait bizarre! (Today was crazy!).

This morning we had lecture and talked about spiritual warfare, but we also split up into groups and got assigned to different areas. My group's assignment was to walk around the city and pray and so we headed towards the cemetery in silence. As I was walking up and down the rows of headstones, I just felt such pain of lost souls crying out for their living loved ones who didn't know Jesus and still had a chance. And as I began to pray I felt such peace! I prayed for the souls of those who had passed on without accepting Christ and then I began to pour my heart out in prayer for their loved ones that I may come into contact with them and love them as my Father does. I prayed that we would find other Christians here and that we would become a network with them! I am really looking forward to our next 2 months living here and hope to make some friends that live in Biarritz that I can begin to  hangout with and minister to. I also prayed just for us to be salt and light here in this city and for people to be curious as to why we look different, other than being American, and to seek us but even more than that to seek Jesus. I began asking the angels to go forth in front of us and to fight for us. Telling God that I wanted him to make the path clear and to protect us always and by the time we were walking home I was overwhelmed with the presence of the Spirit and just boiling over with God's good grace! It was an amazing feeling.

So we get back to the hostel and we're all saying what God showed us in our different groups and just had the consensus that there's a lot of pain in this city, a lot of spiritual darkness, and then as a whole we began to pray out loud speaking life into these streets asking for God's guidance and for His words to fill our mouths when we speak. Hands down, coolest moment of this week so far.

After that we had lunch and I went to roam my new home with Lucie and Tabea. SO YUMMY! We went and bought pastries filled with chocolate and filled with creme and it was so delicious. I then proceeded to buy a croque monsieur, a ham sandwich with grilled cheese on one outer side, which was delicious and had disappeared less than 3 minutes later.

As we were eating our treats we realized we were lost and had no idea how to get back to the hostel and we needed to be back at 16h30 but it was already 16h25 and thank God that we found someone we knew on the street who pointed us in the right direction...kind of. Where we live was in one direction and the house we clean was in another direction and we have to clean both for this week's chores so Lucie et Tabea went to the second house and I had to walk home to the first house. Anyway, I got here safely and I prayed God's blessings over them as they walked!

Now, I'm exhausted but we don't have lessons tonight! Probably because it's almost the weekend which is awesome! I will probably be resting and reading as we have a book report due soon, but also because I am super tired from lack of sleep and time change! God is awesome though and God, I thank you for your faithfulness and your merciful grace. There's nothing better, that's definitely true.

Bienvenue a Biarritz!

Bonjour from France!

My journey to make Jesus famous began on Sunday afternoon at 12pm! My trip started on the right track by running into an old, but dear friend who was on the same connecting flight to Chicago. What a wonderful surprise and blessing from the Lord. We grabbed lunch at O’Hare and then bid adieu when his flight began to board at 4pm. Around 5pm I boarded the plane on what would be a very interesting next 8 or so hours. You know what’s interesting about the flight to France? There are a ton of French people on it, but also quite a few American students headed to study abroad! It was a fun experience and I really enjoyed the head start on acclimating to 24/7 French being spoken.  The layover in Paris hasn’t been too bad, I’ve been here 4 hours and have another 4 hours to go..at one point, I considered riding the TGV into Biarritz, but they take American credit cards, but not American dollars and to my surprise I couldn’t find my wallet containing important documents and my credit cards…so, no train for me. No worries, I did indeed find my wallet…at the bottom of my 50 pound suitcase, safely secured so it wouldn’t fall out. Even if I had gotten on the train two things would have happened: 1) I wouldn’t have gotten my deposit back and 2) I would have had to rush to the 11 am train or had to have waited for the 2pm train which would have gotten me there later! So, praise Jesus for not letting either of those work out. I then proceeded to change out of my jeans/oversized sweater combo into a dress and boots so I could look like the French people! 

I just met a girl named Delphine who speaks great English! I may get out of 24/7 French after all :p HA! I better be fluent or close to it in a few months! I just realized that since I don’t have the internet right now that when I update this I will be in Biarritz already…haha! Anyhow, Delphine says that Biarritz is quiet in the winter, but a beautiful location J

I’m getting sleepy! Got to hang in there though so none of my things get snatched! So far I think I will really miss tweeting, there are so many things I’ve wanted to share already…like the fact that I am so blessed to be here and ready to do the Will of Him who sent me, but that I am so eerily calm it is starting to scare even me!

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SUPER COOL JESUS MOMENT!

Today I was on the plane to Biarritz wondering what God was going to do with me here and even knowing that this is His will I couldn't help but think "But how is it going to work?" and tonight the husband from the missionary couple that spoke to us was talking about how his wife was called by God to make French Christian music and she didn't even speak French at the time, but soon after she published the book it became the top sold Christian music book in all of France. Then her husband goes on to say, "She came to him [God] with her 5 loaves and 2 fish and he multiplied all she had given." And I just felt the Spirit say, "That's you. Give Him all you've got and He will multiply it."

With that, the first day has been quite a success and bonne nuit (goodnight).

I live in Christ, that's why I shine so bright!

What scares people about me picking up and going to be a missionary is because almost no one listens to God and just does what He asks. It is always, "I wish I could do that, but I have all these scholarships," or "God, right now isn't really good for me." I mean, really? I'm so happy Jesus didn't say that! Anyway, I have always told God, "not now." Whether that means that everyone turns their back on me, God has me in His breast and will not let me go. There is no fear in that. :)

The Bible is extremely clear that my life is not my own, but that I was created  to be a living example of who Christ is, to expedite the gospel to the nations, to love, and to further His kingdom. For me to live is Christ and to die is gain! So no worries, the hand of God is upon me, and He will not lead those who seek Him into trouble. He goes before me, with me, and He will be here to calm those behind me.

So, if God is telling you to do something or if you're reading a story about someone who is answering God's call and you say, "I wish I could do something like that," you need to know that you can and if it is God's will then He will take you through it fully.

Thank YOU for all that You have done for me, in me, and through me and all that is coming, I trust fully in Your plan. Amen.

PASSION 2012: When God has a completely different plan than you

As it is, January 2012 is the second semester of my sophomore year at Oklahoma State! :) I had filled out my application to study abroad in the fall, I had purchased my books, was excited for my classes, planning to go on mission trips to Uganda and Israel, applied to work for Google as in intern, when that was done I would fly to London and spend a week, and then fly to France to begin coursework for an academic year! I wanted to go to Oktoberfest in Germany, Semana Santa in Spain, paraglide in the Alps, experience outdoor markets on a grand scale, and then when I finished school in June I planned to either stay and travel more or to apply for internships in France and Spain.

This was the complete plan for the next 18 months of my life until January 5th.

When I went to Passion, I was spiritually dead. Apathetic and uncaring, comfortable and complacent, and just so distant in trusting God and having faith in Him. I always believed, but it was not genuine last semester. I went to Bible study, praise service, worked in the nursery...but I wasn't being spiritually fed and I think that is partly because I worked in the nursery during the sermon. I can say that truly I believed I was on the path to Hell because I had no faith in God's word even though I know it is real. So, I'm going to directly copy my entries from the journal I kept at Passion. Anything I have written in, not from my journal, I will clarify.


January 2: Louie Giglio speaks on first night


"You are NOT here by accident. Do not believe the lie Satan is trying to tell you."


Luke 7:11-14
Jesus stops a funeral procession in Nain, touches the stretcher with the dead body on it and says, "Rise up."
Louie said that maybe we think our sins are too much, that we are too far gone, but every day is washed away in grace. Louie also said that being here, for some of us, this was our funeral procession. We came to Passion spiritually dead. And Jesus right now was saying "Rise up" in the middle of our funeral procession.


He then asked people to stand if God they had been in their funeral procession tonight and if that was their life God was NOT going to let that happen. So, I stood. It felt good to be honest.


At the beginning of the night you know I was in tears, but as it went on I became closed and hardened to it, then I was saying to myself, "Why am I here? This was a mistake." And then God, you used Louie to speak to me and answer the very questions I was asking. You answered me like you so clearly do always.


Also, I need you to allow me to understand grace because I hear that you love me and yet I do not understand that.


Jan 3: Beth Moore, morning session


Luke 8: 40-55
v47--> she could not go unnoticed
We are not hidden before Him in this place; God knew the greatest need we have is something private. 


We are as sick as our secrets
-addiction
-habit


Mark 5v28
You cannot be unclean enough to mess Jesus up (*For clarification, Luke 8:40-55 tells the story of a very sick woman who touched the cloak of Jesus. If she touched anyone she could have spread her disease, but Jesus is so incredibly powerful that she touched Him and he HEALED her.)


Our need for healing and wholeness is deep in our marrow. He knows what kind of man or woman you are. As long as you feel unclean, you will not seek Him fully.


Jan 3: Christine Caine, afternoon session


Freedom is the goal of Christianity.
Light is most effective in the darkness.


"My daughter continued to beg me for a Barbie flashlight so one night we went to Wal-Mart and as we were checking out my daughter turned the flashlight on. She said to me, 'Mummy, there's too much light. Can we go find some darkness?' and I thought to myself my daughter's had a revelation at [3 years old].


What are you so afraid of? As if the point of life is to arrive at death safely?


Speaking on human sexual trafficking
Numbers are numbing.
Numbers are dehumanizing.
Numbers are desensitizing.
That's why 27 million sounds so distant.
Luke 10:30
"..the Samaritan had compassion so he went."
Compassion is not compassion until your life is interrupted, until you're willing to have your life stopped.


We have been saved by grace FOR A PURPOSE


It is by [God's] grace though faith in [Jesus Christ] that my soul has been saved.


Jan 3: Francis Chan, evening session


Do I know the word of God?
No.
Or do I just trust people?
Do I truly believe what this book, the Bible, says?
No.
my justification?
-I have time to figure it out
-Not now
-I've been blinded by greed,lust
-I have no faith


WHERE IS IT?
Where is my faith?
You answer me everytime
CHANGE MY HEART
MAKE ME GO --MAKE ME!


1 Samuel 13
1 Samuel 14


People say God doesn't work like that anymore-I think they are all lying! I trust YOU!
You are calling me
Pulling on my heart strings
They don't need me in a semester--they need me now
You say do something-I'm going to do it
I half believe myself.
God place ALL the opportunity and resources before me to GO. NOTHING I have is important. AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!


I am writing this in real time: **On this night, during praise and worship, after the sermon, I repented of my sins. I was SCREAMING out to God amongst 45,000 other believers lifting Him up in praise asking Him to take me back, apologizing for being apathetic, no more tattoos, no more cursing, no more no more no more, God please forgive me for drinking, forgive me for sex, forgive me for all these things that I have done against you, for going against your Word. Tears are streaming down my face and for the FIRST time in 5 years I felt overwhelming grace enter into me! Just like when I was saved. He answered me.


And then Louie asked, if God ended your funeral procession, stand up. I did, balling and completely redeemed standing new and tucked into the breast of my Father in Heaven!


January 4: John Piper, evening session


Main Pt.
Being satisfied w/All that God is for you through Jesus frees you from the slavery of sin for the sacrifices of love.
*Savor the supremacy of Jesus


God loves it when you, in your soul, are savoring Him; when that happens you outwardly show your freedom. God did not come to be unseen. 


*"Before you trusted God, you weren't unchurced. You were dead. You didn't need church, you needed to be raised from the dead."-Louie Giglio


Seeing/savoring and trusting God are the same thing.


1. Equivalency
John 6:35
-never hunger (coming)
-never thirst (believing)


Only way to please God is through believing.


Faith is a desperate, needy, child-like dependency.


I thought I could just decide the Devil or God; sinner or saint.
Faith is > than that.


2 Kinds of People in the World
slaves of sin
slaves of righteousness
The more satisfied you are in Jesus, the more free you are.


2. Supremacy of Jesus
The supremacy of his deity, his eternality, his knowledge, his power, his trustworthiness (cleans lepers, walks on water, cause the dead to rise), his justice, his patience, his Sovereign, servant obedience. 
"God's knowledge makes the library of Congress look like a matchbox."


Supremacy of His wrath, His grace, His love, his inexhaustible gladness.


At the heart and origin of the universe is the gladness of God.


There is not a square inch on planet earth where Jesus Christ doesn't say MINE.


3. Seeking/Savoring
2 Cor 3v18
Heb 10v39


Thank You, God


This is not about how much debt you're in, how much money you apid. This is about how much he paid for your sins, how much he gave so you would love Him. How much He gave ME
He gave me, He gives me, He supports me, He loves me.


Personal thoughts headed to the Dome on Jan 5:
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have always imagined. -thoreau
God answered: Jan 5
I obeyed:


God answered: Jan 5
I obeyed:
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. -Neale Donald Walsch


Ephesians 3:14-22


Jan 5: Louie Giglio, last session/closing
"They are in a place of holy mystery. God is among them. *You don't need to wait to participate in the plans of God! The are right NOW.


Ch 6; Ephesians
v19
Pray also for me that words may be given me so that I may fearlessly make know the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I declare it fearlessly as I should.


my words: I'm leaving with nothing, but I have nothing without Christ.


Louie Giglio: 
It's time for you to ARISE.
You can still party, but it's going to be a different party.
From the bow of brokenness, launches the arrow of healing.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In 3 days time, Jesus Christ changed my life!!!
On January 4, I e-mailed a church and YWAM telling them I wanted to get involved with their ministry and that I would be moving to work in the mission field at the end of January.


YWAM answered and offered me a spot in their program.
In the last 4 days God has COMPLETELY changed my life!
I prayed that I would be faithful for His provision, I prayed that He would give me confidence, and I prayed against all the negativity that I would hear. And He has answered with a RESOUNDING, "YES" to everything.


I move to France on Sunday, January 15th.
I have no idea what the future holds, but guess what? God does.
And regardless of my plans for my life...they will never overrule God's plan for my life. Not ever.


I have withdrawn from school.
I book my flight tomorrow.


Here's what I love about completely following Jesus.
In Psalm 119:105,
"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."
God is the lamp, the world is the darkness. By trusting God, you can only see enough to take the next step into the world and following Jesus continues like that! So, I've been taking my steps and He's been protecting me through His grace.


I am completely faithful, completely confident, and completely immersed in blessings and grace. Thank you Christ, thank you Father. There is a poster that my roommate hung in our living room the day before I returned, it says, "The Will of God will not take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."


Incredibly true.


My family has showed distaste for the decision asking why I can't stay in school, saying that I am pretending to hide behind God, asking why I am really going, and with no disrespect at all...I realize that this is not everyone's call, but I know without doubt that it is mine.


God has been providing people who support this cause! ALL OF THE PRAYERS GOING BEFORE ME AND WITH ME! ALL of the financial support that only GOD has been preparing on the hearts of people! ONLY GOD! My SAVIOR, MY REDEEMER, MY KING.


If you are praying for me, please let me know by commenting here or on Facebook! If you would like to give I will tell you how! But more than anything, the Word of God is upon us and moving and it is time to rise up!!!


To God be the glory, for ever and ever amen. :)