I'm finding myself more annoyed with who I am, people and their priorities, sick distortions of what abundant life looks like. "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."-Mt 9:37. There's a ton of frustration with the 20 years I've lived, 5 of them being a Christian, all of them being a blind fool. I just, can't...live like that anymore. I've seen so much darkness that blankets this place...what have I been doing all these years???
Life has no meaning if it does not honor God.
Society does not dictate God.
My peers do not dictate God.
Nothing overcomes Him, there is not one place He looks on this earth and does not say mine.
We are such small creations trying to define something bigger than we could ever imagine.
To look at the ocean and say nothing exists is pure ignorance.
To attempt to control your own life or get past God is ridiculous.
And so long have I lived in this ignorance.
*How I've been living and how I should be living is all over the Bible: men will stop listening to sound doctrine (2 Tim 4:3), equality with God is not attainable (Philippians 2:6), show mercy for those who doubt (Jude 22-23), be willing to serve and be an example to the flock (1 Peter 5:2-4)
I control my life, I'll have an internship, I'll do all these things and make x amount of dollars in the hopes that one day I will look at my life and be happy with who I am. Maybe one day my family will be proud of me. All this to just feed the world's obsession with what I should be...which is everything but happy.
Am I to live my life, make money, obtain the 'American Dream', and then die and nothing happens?
To think primordial soup happened and thus the beauty of the world was formed.
My mind cannot fathom it.
Now that I'm here serving God...working the harvest..and I hear people say, "That doesn't sound fun," or things like, "I'm so heartbroken that you aren't here." Why?
For your own selfish reasons? Because you have your own agenda to attend to as if the Creator of the Universe doesn't already have a plan for your life? Jer 29:11
I have no idea what the future holds, but the truth in that is this: I've never known.
I didn't know when I was in high school, I didn't know when I was in college.
And I don't know now. It has been and will forever be a mystery.
Here's what I do know..only now have I ever been completely in God's will.
Because, for once, I am so at peace.
