A Fortified City, an Iron Pillar, a Bronze Wall

I haven't updated in almost a full 4 months! ...oops! A lot has been happening and all to the glory of God. I came home from my DTS and drowned in reverse culture shock, struggling to be back in my "home" with no one who understood where I was coming from, and a lot of confusion on what exactly was coming in this new season. I've always described my walk with God using Psalm 119:105, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path," and I imagine myself standing in a forest so black that it's dense and on my own I have no direction or idea of how to go forward, but God is my lamp and the light shines in the direction I'm supposed to be going just enough for me to take 1 step. After I've taken that step, the lamp continues to show me step by step and it is only with complete faith that I follow the light.

I had been praying to find friends who loved Jesus for what seemed like forever and I hadn't been finding it. I've been finding people who are verbally saying they love Jesus but denying Him by their actions, or people who don't know Him, and those people are good friends but I've definitely needed solid believers to pour into me and pour into. But God can use ANYONE! I met my friend Danielle through one of my roommates who is not a believer. Danielle gets it. She totally sees the glory, understands the urgency, and seeks the fullness of Christ. We've been having some deep conversations about the Lord and His glory and His plan and the coming of His Kingdom...it goes on and on, just like His faithfulness! Because of my deep friendship with her I've been introduced to her group of friends who live in a house run by their church; it's been day and night having community with these kids! I've just been incredibly blessed and it is so worth the frustration and struggle then to have this now.

Can God?
How Can God, Where Can God, Why Has God, What Can God, Who Can God, and When Will God are all questions that I've been asking in this season of life. How can God use me? Where can God take me? Why has God chosen me? What can He use me for? Who can He use, bring into my life, my ministry, and who can I, in turn, impact with those things? When will God decide that it's time, that I'm ready, that I'm worthy. I'm in amazement on a constant basis with Christ. The fact that I've chosen who I stand for, and I stand with strength and with purpose, and I'm living that purpose out...I'm in the midst of greatness. It's not 'Can God,' of course HE can HE is God, but it's 'When God' uses me, takes me, calls me, chooses me, uses others to lead me or speak to me, develops my ministry, impacts people through what He's asked me to do, sees that I'm dedicated, that I'm ready, that I'm worthy because of Christ's sacrifice..it's the reason for your life.

While I'm thankful that I grew up knowing that freedom is real...growing up in America has it's complications. Specifically for me, having a lifestyle that going to college is not a choice of if but of where, choosing a major is not if you love it but if you can live the lifestyle you want with it, and where serving Christ is okay and acceptable as long as you keep those beliefs to yourself or within your bible study group. Interestingly enough, God has asked me to leave every single bit of that behind to follow Him which I did last year at my DTS--click to read more about that. Follow me as I follow the example of Christ; I live this out every single day or at least try in every aspect to do so. Whether that leads me to serving at home, or in India, or in France, or on some remote, unreached island in the middle of nowhere...that's where it leads and there is absolutely no fear in that.